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I NEED HELP!!!!

Posted by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 12:58 AM
  • 5 Replies

So I live with my boyfriend, we just had our first baby together 2/1/13 and he has two kids from his previous marrige and we have them every weekend, even though I feel that they should be with us all the time bc they are being neglected by their mother, but anyways we fight a lot when they around on the weekends, but not so much during the week. Do I have jealousy issues???? I also take stupid things out on him and his kids sometimes, I try so hard not to, but everything builds up especially when you know that the childrens real mom doesn't do anything to benefit her kids, but only uses them for what she can get out of them, I don't know what to do.,., I need insite PLEASE!!!!!

by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 12:58 AM
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Replies (1-5):
tazlover01
by Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 1:10 AM

That's a hard juggling act especially with the new baby. Whatever you guys argue about the most you should try to figure out the right way to fix it together. Before the children come over again. I had some of the same issues. Please don't expect perfection. People make mistakes. And you probably need to loosen up. Especially with the kids if they aren't being treated well then they need you calm and fair at all times. And your BF is also stressed think about it. Kids being neglected and a new baby. Cut him some slack. Take a breather and watch a good movie.

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 1:34 AM
Congrats on your new baby!

How does mom do nothing for them if she has them all week long? Why does dad not have custody?

I can tell by reading your post that you probably don't have jealousy issues but you do have some issues.

Some points I noticed:

1. The need to belittle Mom in parenthesis to let us know that she doesn't fit your standards for a mom

2. This post is mainly about you and your boyfriend and his two children and that you and your boyfriend fight when they are around. But yet you brought up mom twice negatively.

3. Maybe there is some control issue between the two of you? I'm betting, you don't like what he allows his kids to do on his weekends; is he a 'Disney dad/fun dad/weekend dad? And you want order in your home. But dad isn't worried about order because he is a lax parent. And mom sucks because she isn't even in the equation all weekend while you are miserable and fighting with your SO about why his kids are driving you mad/or he is driving you mad...

How long have you been together? How old are you and how old are his kids? What do they do that causes you to fight?
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acook1223
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 2:03 AM

honestly the whole situation is difficult. I'm 25 his kids are 6 and 8. I am more of a freak with order then he is, but I do try not to let so much get to me. Its hard to explain without explaining the entire situation. When she left him she left the kids too he had them until school was going to start back up and the day before she calls and tells him that she has enrolled them into a school by her and that he wasn't getting them back and for right now hes afraid of pulling them away from friends and another school like she did. they were still  married  he physically cant work right now and is trying to get back where he can and she chooses not to work, i have a job and so does her current guy. Hes gotten better with giving them some discipline, but they still act out and it has gotten worse since the baby has been born, but she just had a baby yesterday evening too. So they are going through changes on both ends. He thinks they need to see someone to just talk to, but she flipped out on him. He made drs appointments and dentist appointments for them even though she refuses to give him their medical card information and says they can't miss school. A lot of my anger comes from what I see happening on her side and I know that no one can change her as a person or a mom, but idk if she realizes how important these are for the kids to be seen. I don't know the entire situation is messed up...

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 2:17 AM
That is a LOT. Lol well I would focus on your new baby and try not to focus too much on what is going on with all of that. Are they divorced yet?


Quoting acook1223:

honestly the whole situation is difficult. I'm 25 his kids are 6 and 8. I am more of a freak with order then he is, but I do try not to let so much get to me. Its hard to explain without explaining the entire situation. When she left him she left the kids too he had them until school was going to start back up and the day before she calls and tells him that she has enrolled them into a school by her and that he wasn't getting them back and for right now hes afraid of pulling them away from friends and another school like she did. they were still  married  he physically cant work right now and is trying to get back where he can and she chooses not to work, i have a job and so does her current guy. Hes gotten better with giving them some discipline, but they still act out and it has gotten worse since the baby has been born, but she just had a baby yesterday evening too. So they are going through changes on both ends. He thinks they need to see someone to just talk to, but she flipped out on him. He made drs appointments and dentist appointments for them even though she refuses to give him their medical card information and says they can't miss school. A lot of my anger comes from what I see happening on her side and I know that no one can change her as a person or a mom, but idk if she realizes how important these are for the kids to be seen. I don't know the entire situation is messed up...


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acook1223
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 2:21 AM

three more months and it will be final. Also some of it I don't think we have the whole "ours" thing down we are both still stuck using "yours" and "mine"

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