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Do you care if the ncp can 'afford' the ordered child support?

Posted by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:55 AM
  • 77 Replies

If you are the sm do you care if your dh can 'afford' the ordered child support, what if you are the one getting child support, do you care if the payer can 'afford it'?  I had answered a child support thread and someone replied that the amount is fine as long as my x could afford it.  I am curious what thought others put into accepting a court ordered child support amount based on whether they believe the other person can 'afford it'.

by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:55 AM
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amanda_mom89
by Gold Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:00 AM
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Cs is a set percentage of someone's income. How could one ncp not afford it but others can?

But to answer your question.. our kids come first. If DD or SD need something then that responsibility comes before wants and lesser needs. I hope there's never a point where we "can't afford" to support either of our children.
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EricaG87
by Silver Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:03 AM

yes, of course I would never want to put undue hardship on my children's father.  With that said BM doesn't care if DF can afford his CS payments, which he can't.  Not along with contributing AT all to the monthly bills of our household. But that's the way the cookie crumbles. It's not SD's fault that DF makes breadcrumbs for income and BM needs the money to provide for SD. It's not like it's an extremely high amount it's just that DF doesn't make shit for inciome. Also, BM doesn't even really see like almost half of that because some of it goes toward paying back birthing costs to the state as well as some to going back to the state to help pay for SD's state insurance.  she probably feels like she doesnt get crap for child support.

Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:05 AM

As a SM-I do care if DH can afford to pay CS-because it should be paid!

As a BM-do I care if my can afford CS? yes-when my ex and I went to court-the CO stated that ex had to pay nearly $1500 total monthly (cs/insurance/dental) he was only making 2k a month. He couldn't survive off $500 a month.....never mind the insurance/dental were worthless to me because I live in another state-all that money went to waste.

We both tried to get it reduced with no luck. Things didn't improve until he quit his job and got anther job (massive pay cut).

I have a heart-there's no point in this man going to the poor house because of his obligations to our daugter.If it wasn't for his wife helping him out-he would have been homeless trying to pay his share.

thatislife
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:06 AM
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I'm always wondering when people complain 'bm took him back for more child support' and they are so mad and characterizing her as a greedy grubby slug but if that is the court ordered amount why aren't they mad at the state or working with their legislators to get the amounts changed?  Is bm really evil for taking what the state considers an appropriate amount of cs from ncp to raise her children?

thatislife
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:08 AM
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How would he be homeless, couldn't you just elect to give him back the amount you thought was excessive regardless if the state officially reduced it?

Quoting Tigress22304:

As a SM-I do care if DH can afford to pay CS-because it should be paid!

As a BM-do I care if my can afford CS? yes-when my ex and I went to court-the CO stated that ex had to pay nearly $1500 total monthly (cs/insurance/dental) he was only making 2k a month. He couldn't survive off $500 a month.....never mind the insurance/dental were worthless to me because I live in another state-all that money went to waste.

We both tried to get it reduced with no luck. Things didn't improve until he quit his job and got anther job (massive pay cut).

I have a heart-there's no point in this man going to the poor house because of his obligations to our daugter.If it wasn't for his wife helping him out-he would have been homeless trying to pay his share.


 

liltigersmom
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:09 AM
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Nope, I treat him, the same way he treated me.
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Meg10
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:10 AM

Depends....I think my DH's BM really could care less, but then again I think the system is screwed up anyway. My DH pays $800 a month for his DD that BM has full custody of....he has full custody of the older SD and BM pays nothing.

sid1083
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:15 AM
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When the order was established, I used the figures I thought applied to him based on a search of his income (I didn't have hard numbers or pay stubs to work with). If bd felt he couldn't "afford" cs, he could have responded to the petition to get it calculated on actual income. He's welcome to file for a modification if he doesn't think it's fair or can afford it.

When I was csm, BM didn't work so her amount was set based on minimum wage. She lived with her parents and preferred not to work. So I felt her amount was fair also.
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kristinbugg
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:31 AM
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NCP's children and their financial support, in my opinion, should ALWAYS come first.  Children are helpless and are not capable of financially supporting themselves, whereas NCP has different options: budget better, get additional jobs, make cut-backs, have SAH SM start working (if applicable), etc.  The options may not be the most comfortable or the easiest, but there are still options. 

I don't understand NCPs who refuse to pay CS, crying poor or NCPs who have additional children, then attempt to get CS for existing children lowered.  I honestly think that NCPs should not be able to modify CS based on additional children.  When I worked for CSE, I always had NCPs who would quit well-paying jobs, just so they could have CS lowered.  Really?!?  Luckily, the family courts didn't put up with these shenanigans and would have NCPs income imputed in at what they were capable of making, based on education and previous income. 

Example: I am dealing with one deadbeat whose 2 children are being cared for by maternal GPs.  This is a CPS case and i'm the permanency worker on it.  Mom pays CO'd CS of $750 per month and BD refuses to pay his CS of $750 per month.  Kids were removed due to domestic violence and both parents have signed guardianship of the children over to GPs  He's quit his job working in the oilfield and is now working at some fast food resturant.  He attempted to get the support order modified, which may have worked.....if he'd been fired or layed off.  However, the man had just quit his job because "he was paying too much CS and it wasn't worth working all those hours just to pay CS".  The judge left the order the same.  The deadbeat is married to a woman who had three children.  SM did not work and Deadbeat was the sole income in the home.  Deadbeat also said this was why he could not afford to pay CS, claiming "he was supporting SM and her children.  SM's children's fathers paid NO CS, so Deadbeat's income was needed to provide for SM and her children".  Yeah....this didn't go over well with the judge.  The judge asked Deadbeat, in court, why SM wasn't working.  Was she disabled or otherwise unable to work?  Deadbeat replied that SM was needed at home during the day to care for her three children.  The children are 16, 14 and 14 (twins) and SM is currently pregnant with Deadbeat's child.  The judge raked Deadbeat over the coals at the last court hearing, upon learning that SM is pregnant and Deadbeat is not supporting his existing children.  SM can't work nights because she is afraid of the dark (dead serious, not joking).  I just have to laugh.

The bottom line is that, had BD not quit his well-paying job in order to avoid CS, he'd be able to afford it.  Instead, like an idiot, he quit and is now working at a low-paying job.  He now cannot afford CS and is still responsible for paying it.

 

 

CodeBlue
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:37 AM
That was me, and I was speaking more about my DFs situation. He can only afford the raise in CS if he works more which would negatively impact his time with his children.
That was the point, more so than whether he could afford it. If a parent has to work more and see their children less just to pay CS, that just seems wrong to me.
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