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BMs do you want a SM who wants to be a mother or not...

Posted by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 1:48 PM
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1 mom liked this

So lately I have been reading a lot of posts about SM.  And I have seen people bash SM for being to involved in skids' lives and then I have seen SMs being bashed if they even mention something negative about skid(s).  So what are SM suppose to do, be indifferent and mind her owbn business and kids, or be a mother figure?

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by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 1:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Mar. 13, 2013 at 1:51 PM
5 moms liked this

The board address SMs with varying situations so SM's role depends on the particulars of her situation. Each SM has to evaluate her own situation and the type of BM her spouse has to deal with.

feliciasmith
by Bronze Member on Mar. 13, 2013 at 1:58 PM
3 moms liked this
I'd want dd to have sm that respected my role as dds mother then I'd probably let sm be more involved (totally hypohetical)

I treat ss how I'd want a sm to treat my dd and I TRY to respect bm how I'd want to be respected, but she makes that really hard.
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MommySabs
by Gold Member on Mar. 13, 2013 at 2:24 PM
1 mom liked this
Bd is barely involved so I don't expect his gf to be involved. As an sm I do my damndest to not over step and I in no way am trying to play mommy. Sf and I both are kind of periphery parents I guess but neither of us are trying to replace dh or bm.
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Dana333810
by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 2:26 PM
4 moms liked this

 *Sigh*

Every sitch is different. It's not a black and white ordeal. There are plenty of grey areas.

thatislife
by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 2:29 PM
3 moms liked this

Not, I do not want a sm who wants to be a mother to my kids.  There are many people in my children's lives and none of them are their Mother but me.  They still choose to treat my kids with kindness and respect.  That is all I want from a sm.

packermomof2
by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 3:00 PM
3 moms liked this

You don't have to be  "mother figure" to care.  You can mind your business and care.  And you don't have to be a mother figure not to be negative about the kids.  

packermomof2
by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 3:01 PM



Quoting thatislife:

Not, I do not want a sm who wants to be a mother to my kids.  There are many people in my children's lives and none of them are there Mother but me.  They still choose to treat my kids with kindness and respect.  That is all I want from a sm.


And this.

"What country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance. Let them take arms."
Thomas Jefferson
to James Madison

"They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
Ben Franklin
American Statesman
ramita
by Silver Member on Mar. 13, 2013 at 3:06 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't see my DDs getting a SM, but if they did I would hope they were a good motherly figure for my DDs while in their dads home. To me there is a difference between a mother and a motherly figure. I am a mother to my girls and a motherly figure to my SS. Most things like homework and discipline for my SS fall to my DH, unless otherwise needed, whereas for our DDs its more of a split thing.
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faerie75
by Platinum Member on Mar. 13, 2013 at 3:16 PM
6 moms liked this

 they are supposed to be a support to BD. well thats my take on it anyways. my skids have a mom, im not her, i have my own kids. i am there because i am with their dad primarily, and as it pertains to them, to help BD with his kids. i have an adult friend/family member relationship w them. they are to respect me in my home but i am not their mom, which is fine.

 
        
         

kristinbugg
by on Mar. 13, 2013 at 3:27 PM
2 moms liked this

SM should mind her own business and realize that a marriage certificate does not make her a parent to her SCs.  SM should not insert herself in the parenting of SCs and should not involve herself or interfere in major decisions such as eduational and medical issues.  SM should also realize that she is Dad's wife, nothing less, nothing more and has the same rights to her SCs as a babysitter or a neighbor and act accordingly.

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