I am having some issues and do not know what to do. I have a 10 year daughter and a 10 year old stepdaughter. I am also pregnant with twins. (that in itself is stressful) My husband and I have been arguing about my stepdaughter a lot because of how we get along. (minimal) She is the type of child (has been allowed to be) absolutely helpless. She has a way about not completing anything or doing things terribly so that someone else will get frustrated watching her do it and just do it for her. I am the type of parent that will allow them to do something over and over again until they figure out how to do it. I will teach them a few times but then I want them to try it and give it their best shot. We had a terrible argument last night (husband and I) because something like this happened and he says that it seems like I just enjoyed watching her struggle. This really upset me. I just wanted her to try it and not quit. He wanted me to give her the answers that would make it easier. I do not feel that, that is helping her.
We were just trying to go over the argument and figure out what our next steps were. In the midst of this he informs me that not only my stepdaughter but everyone else walks on eggshells around me. I know that I am the dictator, teacher, and the mother all in one but that is also because I have to be. (at least I feel that way) He does not watch them to make sure that they are using their manners and doing things the way that they should. With my stepdaughter he thinks that it is funny when she says things that are not smart and are incorrect. I do not think that it is funny for a 10 year to make up things like a 5 year old does.
I need help. I do not know what to do and I am very scared that we are going to have issues raising the twins. Any advise is much needed.
I love my family but I am worried.