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Would you care if BM/SM was....

Posted by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 1:13 AM
  • 31 Replies
Talking negatively about you to your child/stepchild even though you and BM/SM never interacted with each other on ANY level, except through the child's stories?

Ex: Stepchild mentions that BM calls you Dad's INsignificant other, the peanut gallery and says you are a NOBODY.

Ex: Stepchild mentions that Dad and SM laugh about rules you put into place that both them and stepchild think are beyond normal parenting and more control freakish?
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by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 1:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
momNstinks
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 1:17 AM
3 moms liked this
Dh and I ignore bm's foolery and it's worked so far.
strugglinsm
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 1:22 AM
2 moms liked this
I would not care on a personal level what BM/SM says about me/us/ our rules. I DO care how these childish actions would affect my child / stepchild! Ignoring seems to be a best strategy for such nonsense
tamithaR
by Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 1:26 AM
2 moms liked this

It would only bother me if it was affecting the sd/ss 's opinion/behavior towards me.  Otherwise, i'd get a good laugh out of it.  That kind of nonsense SCREAMS insecurity.  Pathetic.  We're all guilty of it, though. Right?!  *crickets*

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 1:29 AM

Of course I would care. That's wrong. Both bio-parents need to encourage respect for the other parent.

BM has rules for SD that DH and I don't agree with. SD knows that DH doesn't agree with them, but DH still tells SD that she is required to follow her mother's rules when she's with her mother. Just as there are rules that DH has that BM doesn't agree with, yet SD is still required to follow them.

Teaching a child to lack respect for another adult is wrong.

packermomof2
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 1:31 AM

I really didn't care that she talked about me.  I mean, I did care that she talked about me to my children and they came home repeating it and asking me what certain words meant because that is what I had been called to them and it bothered them.  But that was the only reason it bothered me - because it bothered my children.  I didn't care that she talked about me to anyone else and I didn't care about what she had to say because I knew there was no real reason to hate me as much as she did.  But no five year old should come home and ask his mom what "bitch" means because SM calls you one to him.

jlg12678
by Gold Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 10:45 AM
1 mom liked this

I think adults need to keep their negative opinions about the other home in check 99% of the time. When they don't it puts the child in the shitty place of being in the middle. It also does not allow them to form their own opinion many feel obligated to agree with the more vocal party just to keep the peace,

In our home we ignore unless its really out of line. Then my dh addresses it as he doesn't want his kids to think that overly poor/negative behavior is acceptable. 


Rae706
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 10:56 AM
1 mom liked this
I think my feelings would be hurt, and I think I'd be pissed that an adult lacked the ability to act like an adult and leave the kids out of it and I'd probably at least bring it up with BM. Lol I realize that is not the common answer, but I'm just trying to be truthful.
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thatislife
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 11:18 AM
We care because we do not believe children need to be exposed to that kind of negativity. It happened once and my husband addressed it very seriously and we have not heard anything c
Since
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 12:06 PM

BM has been talking negatively to SS about me for years, it doesn't really matter to me, he isn't my child and he doesn't have to like me.

AquariusFemale9
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 12:58 PM

I go through this with both BMs of my SDs. I understand WHY they do it, but it's still not an excuse for behavior that childish. My SD12 defends me to her mother and she shouldn't have to do that. I would never bash the BMs to their children because it's disrespectful to their relationship (even if I don't care for BM).

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