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Would it bother you?

Posted by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:33 PM
  • 27 Replies

BM and DH were talking about something, I'm pretty sure it was more a disagreement about something. Anyway, she mentioned our "Bastard" child, (yes, we weren't married so she was technically correct) but  was meant as an insult.  We've been together longer than any of her relationships, and longer than her two relationships with her two fathers of her children combined, not that that actually matters.  How hard would it be for you to let that comment go?  It really hurt my feelings, and I'm having a hard time forgetting about it.  How would you feel, and how would you let it go?  (When you know that she is projecting those thoughts about your child onto your step child).

 

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
krazykiddles
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:54 PM
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Not her child not her business!  Ask your DH to tell her not to bring your child into the conversations anymore. 

Kholt
by Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:55 PM
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That is her small mindedness. Now a days there r more "baby mama" and "baby daddy"s than there are x spouses. Being a bastard isn't the same thing it was before and it doesn't bother kids as much. It bothers parents bcuz we remember when it was a bg deal. Her narrow mind shouldn't occupy yours any longer than it took for the word to leave her mouth. If u dwell on it she maintains power over u and she doesnt deserve it. My ss was born b4 my dh married bm. He hears the word and laughs and says most of my friends parents never married so big deal. So don't let her bother u at all.
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LittleMama2012
by Silver Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:55 PM
Were u there when she made that comment? If not, I would tell Dh not to tell me about such things. SD10 told me that bm did not like ds4 and it bothered me and apparently sd10 as well. I told her we wouldn't worry about what other people thought and I knew she loved her brother. It is really a low blow on her part. I understand why you are upset.

She and Dh should limit their conversations to the children or child they have in common. I am sorry and I know if it were me, I would find it hard to keep my mouth shut.
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lovemyfriend
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:05 AM

 My problem is it seems to eat at my mind more than it should. 

She was probably just mad at him for some other reason and used our son as foder to aggrivate him.  He made the mistake of telling me.  My smart brain is saying "dude who cares what she thinks" , and my real brain is thinking "That is so awful, why would you ever say that!?"

Thank you for your understanding.  I know it sounds petty, but  it still hurts.  And I need to let it go.


Quoting LittleMama2012:

Were u there when she made that comment? If not, I would tell Dh not to tell me about such things. SD10 told me that bm did not like ds4 and it bothered me and apparently sd10 as well. I told her we wouldn't worry about what other people thought and I knew she loved her brother. It is really a low blow on her part. I understand why you are upset.

She and Dh should limit their conversations to the children or child they have in common. I am sorry and I know if it were me, I would find it hard to keep my mouth shut.


 

LittleMama2012
by Silver Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:15 AM
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Really it is not petty. But to say something would give her a reaction and that is what she wants. Shame on her! It is just so common and rude to stoop to such a level as to pick on an innocent child. It is hard to let such things go. My Dh has learned not to tell me something's, although most of the time, he ends up telling me eventually. You can vent to me anytime.


Quoting lovemyfriend:

 My problem is it seems to eat at my mind more than it should. 


She was probably just mad at him for some other reason and used our son as foder to aggrivate him.  He made the mistake of telling me.  My smart brain is saying "dude who cares what she thinks" , and my real brain is thinking "That is so awful, why would you ever say that!?"


Thank you for your understanding.  I know it sounds petty, but  it still hurts.  And I need to let it go.




Quoting LittleMama2012:

Were u there when she made that comment? If not, I would tell Dh not to tell me about such things. SD10 told me that bm did not like ds4 and it bothered me and apparently sd10 as well. I told her we wouldn't worry about what other people thought and I knew she loved her brother. It is really a low blow on her part. I understand why you are upset.

She and Dh should limit their conversations to the children or child they have in common. I am sorry and I know if it were me, I would find it hard to keep my mouth shut.



 


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pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:47 AM
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First of all, it isn't petty.  Fuck her for saying it and fuck her for bringing your child into her fight.

There, I feel better.  Try it.  Just say fuck it fuck her fuck fuck fuck...

now stop thinking about her.  Don't let her into your brain.  Do what I call a BM cleanse.  Start small, say an afternoon.  Just promise yourself for one afternoon you will not rent any space in your head to BM.  Increase the time.  It gets easier, I promise.

And for goodness sakes, DH has to stop telling you shit like that.  Part of the cleanse process is for the two of you to just not talk about her.

focus on your family, not her.

Quoting lovemyfriend:

 My problem is it seems to eat at my mind more than it should. 

She was probably just mad at him for some other reason and used our son as foder to aggrivate him.  He made the mistake of telling me.  My smart brain is saying "dude who cares what she thinks" , and my real brain is thinking "That is so awful, why would you ever say that!?"

Thank you for your understanding.  I know it sounds petty, but  it still hurts.  And I need to let it go.


Quoting LittleMama2012:

Were u there when she made that comment? If not, I would tell Dh not to tell me about such things. SD10 told me that bm did not like ds4 and it bothered me and apparently sd10 as well. I told her we wouldn't worry about what other people thought and I knew she loved her brother. It is really a low blow on her part. I understand why you are upset.

She and Dh should limit their conversations to the children or child they have in common. I am sorry and I know if it were me, I would find it hard to keep my mouth shut.





faerie75
by Platinum Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:52 AM
1 mom liked this
Idgaf if you were married or not, her saying that about my kid would be fighting words. I would never say that about her kid or anyone else's.
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pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:58 AM


So proud of me!  I figured out you meant "I Don't Give A Fuck".  You can teach an old bitch new tricks...

and yeah, they are fighting words, but not worth it to fight.

Quoting faerie75:

Idgaf if you were married or not, her saying that about my kid would be fighting words. I would never say that about her kid or anyone else's.



faerie75
by Platinum Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 1:06 AM
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I know but I'd feel that way for at least a second! Lol

Quoting pdxmum:


So proud of me!  I figured out you meant "I Don't Give A Fuck".  You can teach an old bitch new tricks...

and yeah, they are fighting words, but not worth it to fight.


Quoting faerie75:

Idgaf if you were married or not, her saying that about my kid would be fighting words. I would never say that about her kid or anyone else's.




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leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 8:42 AM
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I wouldn't like it but what can you do about it? Hopefully your husband made it clear to her that he was deeply offended by it.

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