As long as I provide the best insurance available to my skids, buy them what they want when they are on DH's time, not get involved with any parenting stuff (bath time, potty training, and so on), develop the not my kids not my problem theory, that is how it is determined that you are a successful step-parent in this group. I am just curious since I am also a BM, I don't treat my ex's gf that way. All I ask is that she not smoke cigarettes around my kids. Why do some of you BMs think it is okay to belittle SMs who are trying their best to get along with you?
UPDATE: I know that there is not one family that fits into all these situations, they were just examples of how/what happens in step-families. I didn't mean to offend anyone. At times I just don't know where to draw the line with the step-kids. Danged if you do, danged if you don't, heck why try anymore. I have learned the easiest thing to do is to allow the bio-parents to parent.