Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom/Nanny

Posted by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:11 PM
  • 59 Replies

Recently, after a five (5) day visitation with his mom, my stepson and I spent the afternoon together.  We went to the video store, and as he was getting out the car he said, "You're not my stepmom, you're my nanny!"  I was totally heartbroken, but quickly responded (in an even tone ladies), "I'm you stepmom,not yo're nanny."  Later on that day, he continued to call me his Nanny.  I spoke to my husband (his dad) about it, and he said I was out of my mind that Sebby has not idea what a nanny means.  So he questioned Sebby about it, and the kid looked like he was in fear of getting yelled at and then started stuttering that he didn't know what it meant.  He didn't even know where it came from, and may be I heard him wrong, he was calling me another name -- and that I'm crazy.  My husband was like, see you're making a big deal out of nothing.  So, I have to suck it up.  I'm crazy.  Turns out his mom, told him, that she's his ONLY mom -- no stepmom; and that  I'm the nanny.

Now, the kid returned to us yesterday,  and as I was trying to help him with his homework (English grammar), and he doesn't want to do it, it's too much for him he just wants to play, and he didn't want to do the extra credit either, and sure enough, i tell him yes, and he goes off to tell his Dad the opposite; and that he doesn't have to do it.  His Dad then tells me for me to do the extra credit for Sebastian, and I said NO! If he wants to cheat for his son, he needs to do it!  It went all to hell, about me not being a parent, and my defense is -- Sebby is saying he doesn't have to listen to me, I'm not his parent.  My husband actually said to me -- go to bed then if you're not going to help!

Advice anyone?

by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:11 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
MommySabs
by Gold Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:26 PM
5 moms liked this
I would have a few select words if my dh dared to speak to.me that way.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
lonlynstresdmom
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:29 PM
1 mom liked this
Oh hell no!!!! That is bs! He's not ur dad so why is he tellin u to go to bed! Ive delt with that it was not good especially in front of the kid. It was like a game to my ss. My df worked all day n i took care of all the kids. It was so hard n stressful when he would play us to get what he wanted. BM also made it clear to him she was only his mom n i was not! Thats fine but i took care of him 24/7. She was never around n didnt help at all with anything except to talk shit bout me cuz DF left her for me! Im sorry i know how u feel. U need to put ur foot down n not let ur man treat u like ur a child or a bad person for not doin his sons homework for him.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
SnapIt
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:32 PM
Whats up his ass and why is he siding with that garbage
To do the kids extra credit?
Is he insane?
I cant see a father in his right mind doing that
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
OvrMyHead
by Silver Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:33 PM

Is your DH the custodial parent?  How old is SS, how long have you been custodial?  Why or why would your DH not believe you?  That would really piss me off.  Also, why are you responsible for doing SS's homework with him, leave that to DH if he is going to question you or give you 'instructions'. 

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:35 PM

 advice is dont do homework for him at all. dad can do it. and if dad dont want to and he fails, thats his problem. and tell dad why you wont do it. if hes not going to back you, then he does everything himself.

needsupport100
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:37 PM
1 mom liked this

i agree you are not the mom, there is only ONE mom. however, maybe since stepmom has MOM in it, maybe you and skid can pick a "special" name to call you that everyone can live with?

as far as your dh, he needs his ass kicked for asking YOU to do the extra credit homework and i agree that ALL children should be taught to respect an AUTHORITY figure, parent or not!

that is insane!!!!

Rae706
by Silver Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:37 PM
1 mom liked this

WTF? Your HUSBAND told you to go to bed? I believe I would have taken him outside and ripped him a new asshole at that point! If DH doesn't support you, then stop contributing so much. Let him or mom sit down and help SS with his homework. What a douche!

mrscbrown2011
by Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:45 PM

Really? STFU this is wack. I wish my skids would first of all call me a nanny and DF says anything remotely crazy to me. 

I am a SAHM to 7 kiddos, DF has full custody, BM out of picture...I will not allow a kid to be disrespectful to me I dont care how you feel, you may feel you dont have to do what I say, or feel I'm not your mom...we have established that and I let them know too if they utter a word of saying I'm not their mom...Your situation would drive me insane, your DH is disrespectful, he doesnt appreciate the things you do for ss at all....someone stated let your DH deal with his homework, etc...then see if his attitude changes, I tell my Skids I dont have to do the things I do, and thats real...I can be a crazy lady and dont cook for you, pick you up for school, etc....DF can do it and he wont be happy...so they rethink that and go with the flow...but I guess when BM are involved its harder because some dont have two cents in their brain to be civilized. 

Put your foot in that azz....LOL....I mean put your foot down and dont tolerate being disrespected. 

kristinbugg
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:49 PM

BM is correct.  She is his only mother.  You are Dad's wife.  That's something you'll have to accept.

Rae706
by Silver Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 12:53 PM
2 moms liked this

I wouldn't take care of any children that didn't respect me. I also wouldn't take care of any kids that I couldn't discipline. Period. No compromises.


Quoting mrscbrown2011:

Really? STFU this is wack. I wish my skids would first of all call me a nanny and DF says anything remotely crazy to me. 

I am a SAHM to 7 kiddos, DF has full custody, BM out of picture...I will not allow a kid to be disrespectful to me I dont care how you feel, you may feel you dont have to do what I say, or feel I'm not your mom...we have established that and I let them know too if they utter a word of saying I'm not their mom...Your situation would drive me insane, your DH is disrespectful, he doesnt appreciate the things you do for ss at all....someone stated let your DH deal with his homework, etc...then see if his attitude changes, I tell my Skids I dont have to do the things I do, and thats real...I can be a crazy lady and dont cook for you, pick you up for school, etc....DF can do it and he wont be happy...so they rethink that and go with the flow...but I guess when BM are involved its harder because some dont have two cents in their brain to be civilized. 

Put your foot in that azz....LOL....I mean put your foot down and dont tolerate being disrespected. 



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured