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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

IS IT OK TO BE CALLED "HER" OR "SHE" BY DH & SS?

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 9:51 AM
  • 180 Replies
When we have my SS...many times I get refered to as "her" or "she". I think its very disrespectful and really hurts. I have mentioned this to my DH but, he seems to think its no big deal. I'm sorry but I DO!

Most of the time my SS calls me mom which is very nice, since I've been in his life since he was very young! But I beleive he hears my DH say the "her" " she" thing, maybe my SS repeats what he hears. Not positive who actually started it but, I am offended.

Examples: remember I am always present.
" Give the plate to her" says DH to SS.
" It's her turn " says SS to DH, when were playing a game.
" she helped me do my homework" says SS to DH.....
I think you get the idea.
I HAVE A NAME!!!!!!!!!!!
Call me " Sally" or " MOM" or "MUM" .....I am not the neighbor or an aquatance! It's hard enough being a STEPMOM and feeling even less important being refered to as "her" or " she".
When we are together with SS, he always refers to DH as dad ! And I always refer to my DH by his name or dad when we have SS.
Like..." Pass the potatoes to Dad, please" ....not " pass the potatoes to HIM"!
MY husband does this sometimes when we don't have SS. But, its hard to be and feel respected when your refered as " her"!
What do you think?
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by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 9:51 AM
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Replies (1-10):
saywhat2102
by Gold Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 9:55 AM
4 moms liked this
I think your upset for no reason....
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DDDaysh
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 9:56 AM
5 moms liked this

 Please tell me you're joking! 

You honestly get offended by someone using a pronoun?  That has to be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. 

Now, if he was saying, "Pass the plate to Super Bitch", THEN I could understand being upset, but "It's her turn to play," is hardly insulting. 

vwd_johnson
by Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 9:59 AM
I really don't see the big deal, but just sit your DH down and have an honest sincere conversation about it with him and let him know this makes you feel disrespected.
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LovingMy2x4
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 10:02 AM

My dad had a gf when I was younger that me and my friends used to refer to as Super Bitch!!! Oh the horrible memories.......

Quoting DDDaysh:

 Please tell me you're joking! 

You honestly get offended by someone using a pronoun?  That has to be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. 

Now, if he was saying, "Pass the plate to Super Bitch", THEN I could understand being upset, but "It's her turn to play," is hardly insulting. 


Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 10:02 AM

I think that your SS has command of the English language and realizes that it's correct to say things like:

"It's her/your turn."

"She helped me do my homework."

Is there more to this?  I ask because I am having a hard time understanding the problem. ???  It it because you're not being called Mom?

If someone is addressing me directly, I don't expect them to use my name when they're looking right at me.  "Can you please pass the potatoes?"  Or if Dad gestures towards me and says to SD "Pass the potatoes to her please." That wouldn't be anything I'd think twice about.

I refer to my DH as Dad when I'm talking to the kids.  "Will you please go get Dad?"  "Have you seen Dad's Kindle charger?"  I call their mom "Mom" when talking to the kids too.  "Make sure you pack this for Mom's house."

The kids do not call me Mom.  I'm not their mom.  I'm "Birdseed".   

So I dunno.  Maybe I'm missing something?


kimkrys1
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 10:04 AM
2 moms liked this

men and boys are lazy... she and her is alot easier than sally.. lol.... I am trying to think what my boys say (hsuband included!) and I honestly dont know.... I dont pay it alot of attention... HOWEVER I do recall saying once, "This HER HAS A NAME!" Maybe if you did that once or twice??

Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 10:04 AM
2 moms liked this
Seriously?!
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Mommynwife26
by Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 10:05 AM
I'm with this.

Quoting DDDaysh:

 Please tell me you're joking! 


You honestly get offended by someone using a pronoun?  That has to be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. 


Now, if he was saying, "Pass the plate to Super Bitch", THEN I could understand being upset, but "It's her turn to play," is hardly insulting. 

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GlockMom
by Platinum Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 10:27 AM
1 mom liked this
I think you are really over reacting. And you aren't mom so you should be called her before you are called mom. Isn't the kid there like only EOWE? EOWE SM isn't mom by any stretch.
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PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 10:29 AM
I'm with the other ladies, I don't see it as a big issue or being disrespectful.
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