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Can a child learn...

Posted by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:58 AM
  • 7 Replies

Can a child learn OCD from their parents?

My SS has his yearly check up today and his mother mentioned to the dr how he has ocd tendoncies.

We do not see any of the tendienceies she speaks of when he is visiting us and she herself has some OCD ( doesn't like him getting dirty, making him use his left hand to use his fork, walking around cracks in the floor etc..)

Can it be that he wants to please his mother and do certain things around her that he doesn't do around his father?

by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 11:58 AM
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by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 12:02 PM

And no I cannot make clicky.  I dont know howwwwwwwwwwww :(

by Hi, my name is... on Mar. 25, 2013 at 12:03 PM
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Maybe he is just used to it by seeing her do it? So he's conditioned by that and does it also?

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by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 12:03 PM
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Never mind!!!  I'm the shit!   I make clicky!!!  Yay!

by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2013 at 12:06 PM
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He is most likely following what he believes the adults expect out of him. To me, if he really did have OCD tendancies then he wouldn't be able to help but do these things at your house that he does at BMs, kwim. Of course, it wouldn't hurt to have him checked out though...if there is any way of knowing if someone is OCD (I'm not familiar with its diagnosis, etc.).

by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 2:27 PM

I think they can to a certain extent. Bm has border line personailty disoreder and my sd has picked up on certain things that her mother does( out of bm control) to get her way. Sd uses crying any time you even talk to her about some thing serious, i mean break down,cant breathe or speak, sd lies,deflects,ignores every one if she is not the center of attention.

by on Mar. 25, 2013 at 2:45 PM

 OCD Personality Disorder may run in him. He may be mimicking BM though. The way for a proper diagnosis is to go to a therapist. And, the dr should have recommended that to BM. If she does this, DH/SO should be there with BM to participate in the analysis that is done. Having a child improperly diagnosed just bc BM is OCD isn't what needs to happen.

I really think he's mimicking based on the little info provided. My Grandmother, Aunt, Sister and Brother have OCD Personality D/O. My brother is also BiPolar. My sister has mild aspergers - we all have anxiety d/o as well (minus gma). All females on my mom's side have Hypothyroidism that can only be diagnosed via saliva testing - no blood test has ever come up positive - even with fasting for 12 hours...

Just goes to say that OCD tendencies are genetic, however, if he isn't displaying them everywhere - it isn't true OCD personality...

by Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:00 AM

The DECENT thing to do would be to stop trying to blame his mother and take the kid to a pediatric neurologist or psychiatrist (NO, OCD is NOT a psychological or emotional disorder...), and either get him diangosed or get OCD excluded.

A little information about OCD.   It is a brain disorder, though annoying, it does not indicate anything severe or alarming wrong with the brain.   But it is a brain disorder - not an emotional, psychological disorder or the product of stress or bad parenting.  

You should also be aware that OCD does NOT consist only of gestures, but also of thoughts the person doesn't expect and that don't follow his usual train of thought.  

 For example, the person gets a very strong desire to wash their hands.   This might occur over and over - it is truly painful to try to ignore it.  'Checking' is common too - one keeps getting thoughts that one forgot something, such as to turn off the coffee pot or lock the door before leaving the house  - while people normally get thoughts like this occasionally, with OCD the thoughts are extremely strong, repetitive and can't be ignored.

If there are only gestures, it is more likely that the child has a common childhood disorder - tics.   They may occur as part of Tourette's Syndrome or they just occur on their own.   Most tics tend to go away as the child gets older.

Your description is very biased toward getting people to conclude what you want them to conclude - that this kid has 'learned' OCD from his birth mother.   Sounds like you really resent her and everything you see, builds a case against her.

You can't possibly expect anyone to disagree with you based on that slanted account, but I think that is truly what you want - unanimity.

In fact, most people with OCD DO INDEED show more or fewer symptoms in different situations.   That doesn't mean they 'learned' it. 

  It's also possible for people to learn to 'hold' - for example kids learn to 'hold' in school, so that their symptoms are minimized around other kids.   It's very exhausting - and depending on the severity of symptoms, may not be possible.   But again, like with most similar disorders, most people have mild OCD, and they can 'hold'.  It's rather like trying not to cough when you've got's kind of horrible.  But people learn to do it.

In other words, your version is not the only possibility.  

The boy could be 'holding' his symptoms at your house.   People pick up on it quickly if people act uncomfortable around their symptoms.

Sticking to a routine also can help mild symptoms.  If your home routine is more steady he may simply have fewer symptoms at your house.   That's another possibility.

The third possibility is that you want it to be his mother's fault, so you simply refuse to see the symptoms he shows at your house.   That is so common that it is a distinct possibility.  

The next possibility is that out of habit, the boy has simply picked up a few of his mother's gestures in an unconscious mimicry, but doesn't have OCD at all.  Us untrained folks can't see the difference between that and OCD - but THESE things ONLY show up under very specific circumstances and don't 'generalize' as OCD symptoms do.

 For example my friend, when driving,often makes a gesture with his hand that his father often made while driving - a habit caused by how the controls are arranged on older cars.    He simply picked it up without ever thinking about it.

 I'd say that is the least likely of all, though I'm betting you'll grab ahold of that with both hands and insist you're right about him 'learning' OCD....

 in fact it's far more likely that you refuse to see symptoms shown at your house, that he simply has fewer symptoms at your house, or that he is 'holding'.  


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