I think that if I were, I would absolutely abhor the idea of another woman trying to act like mom or make decisions for my child.
I am too much of a control freak. In fact, when my DH and I have discussed the idea of having kids of our own, I've actually told him that we're going to do it my way or we're not doing it because I truly do not approve of some of his parenting decisions/ideas. I feel like he and BM have infantalized the kids to some regard. They're babied and they don't have a good sense of responsibility, manners or work ethic that are very important to me.
I would absolutely flip my shit if there was a SM in my (imaginary) child's life who elected to go get her a vaccination or a hair cut or get her ears pierced without my consent. I would FLIP OUT.
I think this is the main reason why I don't find myself overstepping a whole lot. I can just imagine being in someone else's shoes. But it's also the reason why I've been kind of mortified/surprised in the past when BM seems so willing have me take care of kid stuff for her kids. LIke when they're sick or need to go to the doctor or whatever.
On the one hand, I guess I could take it as a compliment because Lord knows, I'd have to have a LOT of confidence in someone to trust them to take care of my (imaginary) child.
I wonder if SMs without kids of their own think about it from this angle much or if it's always about them/DH?
I would be a horrible horrible BM in a divorce situation. Sad to say, but I am realizing that more and more the longer I'm a step mom.
I would SUCK at it. I'd be someone's worst nightmare. Truly.