BM – do you have a friend that is a SM? If so, does she ask you for your opinion about her involvement with her step kids? Does she ever ask you, “In your situation would you be okay with this?” Do you ever bounce your ideas of, what your SM should and shouldn’t do, off of them? Do you take their experience into consideration when dealing with your SM (ie : are you more understanding/sympathetic with your SM, because you know what your SM friend goes through)? Do they appreciate your BM perspective? Do you appreciate their SM perspective?
SM – do you have a friend that is a BM only? If so, do you ask her for her opinion about your involvement with your step kids? Have you ever asked her, “Would you be okay if your SM did this?” Do you ever ask her what she feels a SM should or shouldn’t do? Do they ever ask you about your experience as an SM? Do you think they appreciate your SM perspective? Do you appreciate their BM perspective?
I’m not trying to imply that a BM can’t be friends with a SM (or vice versa), and I’m not saying you should let someone else’s idea control your situation or how you raise your children. I’m just curious to know if you have friends in the opposite situation and if you ever give each other advice or opinions regarding your different situations.