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bm wants to personally "inspect" our home....Added exact phrasing of demand

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To make sure it's good enough for ss. Reasons why this is not okay with me....

A) this woman has been homeless with ss couch surfing. He has a bed here
B) this woman had been improsoned mulitple times over the period of ss's life for times spaning one night to 2 weeks. Lets go inspect that "home" she kept :)
C) Bm is prone to causig a scene and getting violent as proven by her track record. I dont want her in my home around My child.
D) Bm has kept Dad completely out of the loop of where his son his and now wants all rights to be a nosey bitch. She even went as far as lying to dh about skipping state so he couldnt see ss.

This is my vent but now I need a legit way to tell dh all these reasons so he can tell his lawyer that its going to be a big fat NO for that home inspection done by bm.



Before some of you go off on me bm and dh dont have the friednly kind of relatuonship where she can just come over to "hangout" at our house. And yes Im taking this as a personal attack on how I keep my house for my own child, who has a higher ranking in my heart. Sorry bm





Added! So Im going to copy and past the exact words her lawyer sent dh's lawyer.

"c. Mom visits dad's residence to make sure it is OK before Dad takes child to his residence."

This is after she is reguestong the max time dh get is 6 hrs a week with no over nigts after spending 3 weeks supervised. Dh has never done anything to warrant supervision or such little time. She is being unreasonable in my opinion. This is still just their proposal, nothing has been court ordored yet
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by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:09 PM
Replies (11-20):
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:37 PM

A request to inspect a home is something I have only heard happen in low socio-economic situations where facilities are usually below standard. Dh would have to choose visits outside the home because I wouldn't permit a home inspection.

USBrit
by Silver Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:40 PM

UM what part of "NO WAY" does this Mom not understand. What if Dad said that to her? If Dad has the right to have his child in his home, then that's all there needs to be. She doesn't get to dictate an inspection. If my husband's ex-wife had ever come to my home, I would be mortified. Thankfully, (to my knowledge) it has never happened. We don't want to "intrude" on her private life either. What part of "past" is this person not understanding. She no longer has a say in YOUR husband's life, that is your domain now. I am also thankful that we had teenagers when we met and now they are grown and have families of their own. No reason for BM to even be considered on our part anymore.

AmberRose1122
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:42 PM
Hell no.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
HopesNDreams
by Silver Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:43 PM
I want to be a size 2 - ain't gonna happen. Neither is BM inspecting your home :)

It is enough to give her your address.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
saywhat2102
by Gold Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:47 PM
1 mom liked this

LOL!  Naw......

PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:47 PM
A flat out NO would be my answer. There doesn't even need to be a "good" reason. People don't have the right to invade someone's home because they want to.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
jlg12678
by Gold Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:48 PM

No. Period.

Neither you nor your dh have a criminal history including either abuse or neglect of a child. You have never had CPS called on you.  There is no reason for her to personally inspect your home. If an inspection would be required by a court of law (as in not bm requesting it) you will welcome a non-partial third party into your home.

There is no reason for someone who is already biased regarding your husband having any visitation to be doing a personal inspection of your home.

I would firmly state all of the above to a lawyer.

Rae706
by Silver Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:49 PM
1 mom liked this

Really? I mean I get that there are extenuating circumstances in this specific situation, but in a normal situation, you couldn't understand a BM wanting to know where and what conditions her child was in? 


Quoting PumpkinSpice8:

A flat out NO would be my answer. There doesn't even need to be a "good" reason. People don't have the right to invade someone's home because they want to.



SnapIt
by Bronze Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:51 PM
1 mom liked this
I find this funny when BMs want to do and inspection of the fathers home especially when hes living with someone or is remarried

So stupid

Did anyone inspect her home when she had a baby with him to see if it was up to par?
I doubt it

Say no, she has no right to go and inspect. Kids or no kids
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SnapIt
by Bronze Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:54 PM
3 moms liked this
Did anyone inspect your home when you had kids with him?

Did you get an ok that it was a good enough place to raise your child?

Who inspected your home when you brought home your baby?

Its ridiculous. Its being nosy
A mother doesnt have to go to the fathers house to inspect or to have a say if its good enough. She doesnt control daddy anymore or his life and mommy is going to have to get over it.


Quoting Rae706:

Really? I mean I get that there are extenuating circumstances in this specific situation, but in a normal situation, you couldn't understand a BM wanting to know where and what conditions her child was in? 



Quoting PumpkinSpice8:

A flat out NO would be my answer. There doesn't even need to be a "good" reason. People don't have the right to invade someone's home because they want to.




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