i am a very calm, respectful and quiet person. not aggresive at all! for my sd sweet 16 i knew that i was going to feel uncomfortable but i usually am when i visit her and i am always able to hold my composure around their (sd and her mom) rude behavior. for her bday we payed for 90% of the costs and we also had to travel for the party. when we got to fl, 3 days earlier my sd never called her dad and only saw him at the rehearsal once. the day of the party i spent all day at her family house cooking and i was with my MIL. her family got home at 2pm and wanted to talk and have a drink with us which we did. we ended up leaving the house at 4 giving me only 2 hrs to get ready (3 kids, MIL and self). made it on time for party anyway. when the party started i started to notice that my husbands role was very minimal. fine thats just the way the ceremony was meant to be. then a slideshow of her and important people in her life started to show, my oldest came up once(boy), my 2 other kids never. i felt sad because my son got excited when he saw his pic but my other kids were waiting to see themselves in the bigscreen with her and it never happened. then for the candle ceremony 16 of the most important people in her life were called to hold the candles. my children and i were never called, i figured its ok, there was just not enough, however, 1 person called was the decorator of the banquet hall--- 1 was the wife of a cousin who just last year was creating drama in the family, i have been in her life for 10 yrs. I still figured ok, but after analizing everything in my seat and seeing my kids i started to feel sad and that it was wrong. as the night went on i noticed her not looking for her siblings and i just relly felt that i was not supposed to be there, like nobody wanted my kids and i there and that everybody was just staring at me. i kept saying my serenity prayer even textin it to my sisters who always help me get through these things but it wasnt working. started to get teary eyed and my husband asked me to dance with him and i did thinking it would help, it didnt. when dinner was served i couldnt event taste it. my husband immidiately knew there was something wrong. at some point he tells me that i should change my face because it was his daughter night and we cannot ruin it. i texted my serenity prayer again and he noticed and asked why? i was not able to calm down and he later asked if i was going to let this be something that could ruin our marriage. My heart accelerated and i could no longer even think correctly, lost train of thought, vision, had extreme headache and breathing fast. went to restroom and was able to calm down. we left shortly after that. on the way to the hotel i ventilated to him as to y i was like that and he couldnt understand. the morning after my MIL had talked to him and expressed her feelings which were very similar to mine. he later apologized and we have not argued about anything since then. its been a year and he wants to go to visit again, i dont know if i am ready yet or if i should ever put myself through that again.