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we are getting ss4 full time tonight

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies

we got a call from bm wednesday to come get him. long story short, she's lazy, refuses to work and dirty home living, etc (has been every man's complaint including dh's). we have been WANTING to get custody of him but was waiting til we could get the house arranged and more stable ourselves before pressing for custody and not to mention some allogations wouldn't have sustained in court.

Well wednesday i was at work dh, texts me; Um, call me

so i do, and "bm just called telling me we need to go get him, he wants to live with us, and her and current bf (whom she JUST had a baby with) are breaking up and she is going to a shelter. ss and 2 other kids will be with her sister and new baby will be with her dad and his parents (yeah they lived with his mom and dad) and she is going to a shelter." well we didn't have proper set up so because he had somewhere to go until we could prepare, we had to prep first (we had a FEW clothes for him and that's it). he will not have ANY funiture, few clothes, NO toys-we were working on getting him his own "space" but hadn't gotten there yet.

he also talked to bm and she has NO legal information on him, no bc, no shot record no ss card NOTHING so we will have to start from scratch begining NOW because he is supposed to be in school next year.

we will probably have to contact dhs to get medical information (with permission slip from bm) so we can get an accurate shot record and all that good jazz.

dh and i are hoping this will be a permanent set up. bm said if she's not prepared to take him back by school start, then she'll just give us custody (yes us) not to mention, she said she's been thinking about it for a while cause all day every day for a while, that's ALL she hears from ss, not to mention when we drop him off, he looks at her, and "i DON'T WANT TO BE HERE, I WANT TO GO HOME WITH DADDY!" and storms inside. he does this EVERY TIME no matter WHO drops him off.

yes we are getting something in writing from bm, it wont be notarized, but dh said, i just want to get him here, then we'll go from there-but it's on now, she promised to return the child support garnishment so we can get him proper funiture (long story short, he's legal father of her first daughter, and paying cs on her-that's a WHOLE other blog). per cse SHE has to stand up and acknowledge that dh isn't her dd's father, etc and she hasn't done that-yeah of course not, she gets cs on her from him

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 29, 2013 at 7:55 AM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 29, 2013 at 8:05 AM

let me also add, bm has a warrant for her arrest for upaid tickets in another county, suspended license, and has had kids removed from her home by dhs............yes, we would've had a good fight against her. not to mention we KNOW her family wouldn't have helped her fight for custody (other than physical threats)-why she doens't know our address. and wont-she hasn't asked for it, so for now, it's a moot point

o and because i know it'll be asked. there is no court order for custody, only for cs. they were never married. and in this county (i have a co worker going through this as we speak) it's the call of who ever has the child.

TS9509
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 8:11 AM
You should be able to go to the county health department and get certified copies of the child's bc and shot record then take the bc to the local social security office and get his social security card. Also I would ask bm to meet at the bank you do business at and get that paper notarized. It'll take 5 minutes but be oh so forth it in the end.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 29, 2013 at 8:19 AM

 

 

Quoting TS9509:

You should be able to go to the county health department and get certified copies of the child's bc and shot record then take the bc to the local social security office and get his social security card. Also I would ask bm to meet at the bank you do business at and get that paper notarized. It'll take 5 minutes but be oh so forth it in the end.

i suggested that to dh, he doesn't want to go that route. he said, if she proves herself, then she can have him back-if not i'll just take her to court. i told him "ok but i don't want to hear it if it doesn't fall the way you think it will and you are still charged for support during the time we had him"

not to mention he doesn't think she'll agree to doing that, doesn't have a way there and is going to get the rest of her stuff after we get ss-she is having to have family drive her around........at least that's her CLAIM

as far as his legal records, i'm not worried about that. just got to start with bc

 

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 29, 2013 at 9:33 AM

Well I'm glad for you guys and your SS that BM will admit she's unfit and do what's best for the child.

I get that you are frustrated with how irresponsible she is and now you have to fetch all the paper work, but he will be safe in your care and the relief will make the bother seem small. Plus you are possibly about to become a CSM, possibly permanently, so child related tasks are in your future.

All he needs is a comfortable place to sleep, a stuffed animal/toy, and a nightlight (possibly), for right now. Kid now, furnish later.

GL

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 29, 2013 at 9:37 AM

 

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Well I'm glad for you guys and your SS that BM will admit she's unfit and do what's best for the child.

I get that you are frustrated with how irresponsible she is and now you have to fetch all the paper work, but he will be safe in your care and the relief will make the bother seem small. Plus you are possibly about to become a CSM, possibly permanently, so child related tasks are in your future.

All he needs is a comfortable place to sleep, a stuffed animal/toy, and a nightlight (possibly), for right now. Kid now, furnish later.

GL

i'm already a csm of sd, dh has ALWAYS had custody of her, but that's a COMPLETELY different ball game. it's just a matter of bm2 is a LOT more territorial, so we shall see how this goes. and i could careless about fetching all the paper work, that's the LEAST of my worries.

 

 

ramita
by Silver Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 10:00 AM
There's no way my DH would let her get SS back. I'm glad that y'all are getting him for now, but its possible in 3 weeks after you've done everything that she'll want him back and you DH will have no legal leg to stand on. He needs to file for emergency temporary custody ASAP. Oh by the way I'm willing to bet child support payments will not be stopped just because he has SS. When we first got my SS with us child support people told us we had to have a court document stating DH had custody/temporary custody. So there is a very good chance your DH will have to continue paying. He could always call child support though and ask.

I wish y'all the best of luck and hope BM doesn't change her mind about all this!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 29, 2013 at 11:37 AM

 


Quoting ramita:

There's no way my DH would let her get SS back. I'm glad that y'all are getting him for now, but its possible in 3 weeks after you've done everything that she'll want him back and you DH will have no legal leg to stand on. He needs to file for emergency temporary custody ASAP. Oh by the way I'm willing to bet child support payments will not be stopped just because he has SS. When we first got my SS with us child support people told us we had to have a court document stating DH had custody/temporary custody. So there is a very good chance your DH will have to continue paying. He could always call child support though and ask.

I wish y'all the best of luck and hope BM doesn't change her mind about all this!

He is calling them monday, if that's what they tell him, then i will press for him to go get an an emergency order....or me and him will have problems-cause i'm not going to support him and dh have to turn around and pay support later


 

feliciasmith
by Bronze Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 11:47 AM
He should file emergency custody. It's very mature of bm to realize she cant take care of him right now, it's really sad though.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 29, 2013 at 11:51 AM

 


Quoting feliciasmith:

He should file emergency custody. It's very mature of bm to realize she cant take care of him right now, it's really sad though.

that's my thought, i'll keep my mouth shut until next week, he isn't really giving me a game plan on the whole thing. he said he wants to wait til ss is in our posession before he makes any moves.


 

feliciasmith
by Bronze Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 11:58 AM
Dont wait bm could change her mind, bm in my sitch went to jail and dh wanted to wait until after a few visits with ss before filing and bm got out and didnt let dh see ss for another 5 months. He doesnt have to be in your immediate poosesion. Your dh should lawyer up fast


Quoting Anonymous:

 





Quoting feliciasmith:

He should file emergency custody. It's very mature of bm to realize she cant take care of him right now, it's really sad though.


that's my thought, i'll keep my mouth shut until next week, he isn't really giving me a game plan on the whole thing. he said he wants to wait til ss is in our posession before he makes any moves.




 


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