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Knew this was going to happen!

Posted by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:04 AM
  • 11 Replies
So easter is tomorrow (YAY) but my family already had our easter. So I texted dd's paternal grandma to see if she wants to see dd for easter since we arent doing anything anyway. She says she would love to but she is having a dinner with family at 6pm. My first thought was "bitch she IS your family" then I cooled off and remember my dd is only tied to this lady biologically and obviously it doesnt mean much for this lady. So I texted back and said okay well maybe another time.

Ugh, I know I should stop trying but my relationship with my bio dads mom was the only tie I had to him after he passed and I want my dd to feel loved by at least some of his family :( I need therapy lol
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by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Nature_girl
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:20 AM

 That is so messed up. Not Grandma of the year.

Ktina11
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:25 AM
I see your point....but if she had a planned dinner (she may have planned awhile ago) and you asked just today, I don't see the issue. Maybe if you had asked before the day before she could have planned for additional time set aside? Btw-I think you handled it very well. I just see the other side also.
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feliciasmith
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:27 AM
I know right! This happens Everytime I contact her, she always puts it off and makes it super inconvenient and then I end up driving to timbuktoo so she can see my dd. Blah Im getting used to it though, its slowly making me less and less angry so hopefully I'll stop caring completely. Of course then I'll be evil bm who keeps dd from ex's family lol whatevs

dd is only 2 she doesnt really understand or miss her "other" grandma


Quoting Nature_girl:

 That is so messed up. Not Grandma of the year.


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feliciasmith
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:29 AM
Oh no I asked her the other day (tuesday or weds I think, still kind of late notice I suppose) and just remembered to tell dh today that we will have the pleasure of having dd all day and got reirritated about it lol

I get that too but she hasnt seen dd since dec so I figured we could squeeze in an hour or so but nope.


Quoting Ktina11:I see your point....but if she had a planned dinner (she may have planned awhile ago) and you asked just today, I don't see the issue. Maybe if you had asked before the day before she could have planned for additional time set aside? Btw-I think you handled it very well. I just see the other side also.
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JacyB
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 2:38 AM
She has her own life. It's okay that it doesn't revolve around your child. Did you expect her to just sit around and not make plans just in case you decided to ask last minute?
I really see nothing for you to be irritated about. By your own admission, she was of secondary priority because it was only okay to offer since you had already done Easter with your family. Maybe she feels insulted that she was an after thought. She has no obligation to rearrange her life for you.
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leegirl_jm
by Platinum Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 2:46 AM

Yes, you could do with some therapy ;0), stop giving this lady the opportunity to make you feel like your DD unimportant, I am tempted to say stop trying period but I am not sure but don't make it seem so important, your DD is loved, that is that lady's loss.

TJandKarasMom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 6:39 AM
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That sucks, but I guess the bright side is your DD is very young so she doesn't miss her or anything. My SD remembers her mom and her 'grandparents' who are actually her half sisters paternal gparents. She really misses her half sister, the dad and the gparents, but we just don't seem to get together often, it's always too much for them. Her maternal great grandma sends her cards for every holiday, lol, I think it's sweet. DS gets mad that he doesn't get the two dollars lol.

If it makes you feel any better (although it won't bc it sucks for my kids) my brothers gf recently had a baby and now the world revolves around them. I understand to an extent bc he is in the nicu, but my parents did not even invite us for Easter at all and they typically do, we usually go there for the kids to get baskets from them and have an Easter egg hunt. I get that my brother is preoccupied, but that my parents didn't even call to talk to me or my kids about it really irks me. We have lots of issues, and while it's easier not visiting them most of the time, it sucks for my kids who are old enough to put together that this new baby is much more important than them (there is a lot of history that I won't get into, but it really comes down to this baby will live with my parents and they really don't know where the line between parenting/grandparenting falls).
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feliciasmith
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 10:59 AM
I know! It is her loss, she talks up how much she would like to be a part of dd's life but never reaches out to me to see her. Then when I ask her she is almost always too busy. Being the bigger person sucks haha

around dd's third birthday Im sure I'll be texting her again to see if she's available for their annual meet up


Quoting leegirl_jm:

Yes, you could do with some therapy ;0), stop giving this lady the opportunity to make you feel like your DD unimportant, I am tempted to say stop trying period but I am not sure but don't make it seem so important, your DD is loved, that is that lady's loss.


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lnr187
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:34 PM
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 lol i see where you're coming from, but really i wouldn't let it get to you. dd has you and your side of the family. im assuming she is recieving plenty of love, and if her dad and dad's side can't be bothered, i'd just let it be. don't bother putting in the effort if they aren't willing to do the same.

Rae706
by Silver Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 9:21 PM
I know EXACTLY how you feel! And I don't really have any constructive advice, but I'm sorry. I know it sucks.
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