Vent about BM and her inability to follow through with medical stuff
SD is 12, she has a birth disorder that causes a slew of issues. BM walked out when SD was born, saw SD here and there, but never had visitation or was part of SD's life in a parental role. When SD was 2 1/2 BM took off with her, since there was no CO (yes, very dumb of DH) it was legal. After a long nasty custody battle BM was given majority residential time so long as she kept SD in therapy (the judge didn't want to disrupt SD's therapy again since it was already disrupted when BM took off with her).
Anyways, DH has contacted BM several times over the years with concerns about SD, and more specifically about things that are related to SD's disorder that would pop up and BM wouldn't know about. DH is very involved in the online community of other parents with the same disorder as SD (only about 70 people worldwide have the disorder).
DH now has custody (and has since June). He's been able to get a LOT of the issues he's originally tried to discuss with BM attended to. At this point we have proof that BM ignored at least 4 things that DH brought up to BM about SD. SD has skeletal issues related to her disorder (which casues skeletal defects). SD eyes were not being taken care of as they are supposed to. SD was not in regular physical therapy (she's now in weekly physical therapy), SD was not in occupational therapy (she's now in bi-weekly occupational therapy).
Now it appears that BM has messed up another area of SD's medical care all because she didn't want to take advice from DH or listen to/acknowledge DH's concerns about SD. This one could also turn into a pretty major situation. Apparently people with the same disorder as SD are WAY more likely to have spina bifida occulta (which can result in a tethered spinal cord). SD appears to have 4 of the 5 most common symptoms of tethered spinal cord. The only treatment is surgery on the lowest part of the spinal cord.
It's SO frustrating that a majority of the things DH and I have been doing for SD could (and really SHOULD) have been done YEARS before which would have been amazingly benficial for SD. Instead we are trying to make up for 7 years of medical and educational neglect... It just pisses me off and breaks my heart.