Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

clash in parenting styles

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
So do you and your husband have the same parenting style? His daughter is 11. My husband is very liberal once removed and doesn't parent well. He has an unruley child with no boundaries or rules. Allows her to freely express herself and make rules even for other adults. She tells and orders him me and others. She walks up to strangers and asks them for change or in resturants tells them to do things. When she is talking she tells him to be quiet and not interupt her that she is talking. She left our home and chooses to live with mom only comes over if he takes her somewhere or to play xbox. she walks all over him and its hard to watch and sometimes embarrassing. Her behavior or lack of often bothers are household. She recently told him she wants him to herself and he allows her to tell me when I can and can not come with them places. When she goes out with us he holds her hand and walks ahead of me and my kids. When he sits on the couch he puts his arm around her and holds her hand and I am usually not allowed to sit by him. She is trying to divide our family of 5. ...I am a strict well balanced parent to my kids 13 and 16. Life is smooth and drama free until she calls or comes over and I need help coping with a 11 yr old ruling my liife at times.
Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 1, 2013 at 7:25 AM
Replies (21-30):
Eyelashes23
by Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:20 PM
1 mom liked this
Your husband is the problem not her. If he doesn't put his foot down nothing will change. My stepson tried to do that but that didn't last long because I would had walked out ASAP
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
kellynh
by Kelly on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:39 PM
1 mom liked this

Okay, so this is the same poster as BM is in contempt... Got it!! 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:46 PM
Just yesterday she was worried that he 5 yr old nephew was going to get help from her uncle during our easter egg hunt so she came to me and her dad and said we have to have rules no adults help kids. I ignored her so did my husband I wanted so bad to say sorry your a child u don't make rules. I am trying to let him parent but he is not. Then again she said to me tell my uncle the rule ...she assumed she won I said NO I don't tell adults what to do. She byrated the uncle for talking to his child and they got in a fight. ( he is 30). He said u won you little brat are you happy. Then she complained to her dad that he needed therapy because he always complains to their mother. It was so disrespectful that he took his kid and left. She was never put in her place except slightly by me. Its sickening
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:50 PM
Just yesterday she was worried that he 5 yr old nephew was going to get help from her uncle during our easter egg hunt so she came to me and her dad and said we have to have rules no adults help kids. I ignored her so did my husband I wanted so bad to say sorry your a child u don't make rules. I am trying to let him parent but he is not. Then again she said to me tell my uncle the rule ...she assumed she won I said NO I don't tell adults what to do. She byrated the uncle for talking to his child and they got in a fight. ( he is 30). He said u won you little brat are you happy. Then she complained to her dad that he needed therapy because he always complains to their mother. It was so disrespectful that he took his kid and left. She was never put in her place except slightly by me. Its sickening
LittleMama2012
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:51 PM
Why is he allowing her to talk to adults that way! Had it been my children or SD, they would not have participated after that. Dh really needs to step up or it will just get worse.


Quoting Anonymous:

Just yesterday she was worried that he 5 yr old nephew was going to get help from her uncle during our easter egg hunt so she came to me and her dad and said we have to have rules no adults help kids. I ignored her so did my husband I wanted so bad to say sorry your a child u don't make rules. I am trying to let him parent but he is not. Then again she said to me tell my uncle the rule ...she assumed she won I said NO I don't tell adults what to do. She byrated the uncle for talking to his child and they got in a fight. ( he is 30). He said u won you little brat are you happy. Then she complained to her dad that he needed therapy because he always complains to their mother. It was so disrespectful that he took his kid and left. She was never put in her place except slightly by me. Its sickening

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Eyelashes23
by Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:51 PM
How long have you been married? And was he like this before getting married? I wouldn't put up with that


Quoting Anonymous:

Just yesterday she was worried that he 5 yr old nephew was going to get help from her uncle during our easter egg hunt so she came to me and her dad and said we have to have rules no adults help kids. I ignored her so did my husband I wanted so bad to say sorry your a child u don't make rules. I am trying to let him parent but he is not. Then again she said to me tell my uncle the rule ...she assumed she won I said NO I don't tell adults what to do. She byrated the uncle for talking to his child and they got in a fight. ( he is 30). He said u won you little brat are you happy. Then she complained to her dad that he needed therapy because he always complains to their mother. It was so disrespectful that he took his kid and left. She was never put in her place except slightly by me. Its sickening

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:52 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting Anonymous:

Just yesterday she was worried that he 5 yr old nephew was going to get help from her uncle during our easter egg hunt so she came to me and her dad and said we have to have rules no adults help kids. I ignored her so did my husband I wanted so bad to say sorry your a child u don't make rules. I am trying to let him parent but he is not. Then again she said to me tell my uncle the rule ...she assumed she won I said NO I don't tell adults what to do. She byrated the uncle for talking to his child and they got in a fight. ( he is 30). He said u won you little brat are you happy. Then she complained to her dad that he needed therapy because he always complains to their mother. It was so disrespectful that he took his kid and left. She was never put in her place except slightly by me. Its sickening

I would not let anyone say to my kids "you won you little brat." I would be glad he left. 


MommySabs
by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 12:54 PM
Let her dad spend time with her and if she doesn't want you around - guess what you're off the hook, she's not your problem to worry about. She is your dhs child to parent not yours so he can do so as he sees fit.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:15 PM
Were newly weds so were duh very close and do everything together. I hear a lot of people saying just let them have their time. Kind of hard bcuz then I would never see him. He doesn't have much extra time ..he works a lot then he comes home eats and soon its off to bed. He is up at. 3 and were in bed by 8. I see him 20 hrs a week mostly its on Sunday.on Sunday we go to church and out for breakfast then. He takes a nap. It doesn't work for private time for anyone. Besides that is just giving her what she wants a divided family just her and dad the way it used to be. Private dadddy dates are not happening so maybe you should suggest ways to have her be part of the family. Seems like that is a more unified approach.
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:20 PM
1 mom liked this



Quoting Anonymous:

Private dadddy dates are not happening so maybe you should suggest ways to have her be part of the family. Seems like that is a more unified approach.


ok, how about, start by respecting her relationship with her dad. You are not a "unified family." Maybe you would like to be, but you aren't right now. You are brand new in her life, and frankly, you're a little pushy. Start by respecting her, being nice to her, and let her get to know you. Then maybe, one day, you will have a unified family.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)