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Step parent visitation

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Went to a family dinner at SOs family yesterday. His cousin, and all the family actually, was vocally complaining that she was not allowed to have her SD for Easter dinner. Her SO is a long haul truck driver. They all slammed BM, saying how awful it was of her to deprive SD of her family and that they could have easily accommodated to allow her to be there. BM was having their dinner at 12, SMs was at 2.
I think I was the only one to disagree. Besides my issues with SOs family expecting everyone to accomodate them at every holiday (noone else really has a 2nd side of the family except me) I couldn't imagine feeling that way about BM. It wasnt dads weekend, it was Easter Dinner and Dad wasn't around. BM owes noone visitation.

In the car, I brought it up to SO because he is considering rotational fly in work. He asked how I'd feel if it was me and SS. I told him, quite honestly, that BM does not have to give me visitation nor will I expect it. Knowing what happened last time, I wouldn't be surprised but I definitely wouldnt pitch a fit if I didn't get my way when dad WASN'T around.

Does anyone get step parent visitation? Any thoughts on the matter?
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by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 8:42 AM
Replies (11-20):
Tigress22304
by Platinum Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:04 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting kristinbugg:

I've never understood why some SPs feel they are entitled to take BP's visitation time with SCs.  Visitation is for the child to spend time with their BP, not for them to spend time with SP or with SP's children.

I get my skids on DH's time....BM doesn't care neither do I or DH. Some stepparents....actually want to spend time with their skids.

And maybe some sp's feel entitled to BP visitation time because they want to spend time with the kids and give the BP a break.

There are PLENTY of times DH works weekends-BM will still bring the kids to our home-and they will spend the weekend with me....only getting to see dad for a few hours total vs the normal amount.

It's not that big of a deal for the most part, if all parties are okay with the situation.


faerie75
by Platinum Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 1:59 PM
1 mom liked this
Not to mention, some BP don't WANT the kids on the other parent's time. Lol.

Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting kristinbugg:

I've never understood why some SPs feel they are entitled to take BP's visitation time with SCs.  Visitation is for the child to spend time with their BP, not for them to spend time with SP or with SP's children.

I get my skids on DH's time....BM doesn't care neither do I or DH. Some stepparents....actually want to spend time with their skids.

And maybe some sp's feel entitled to BP visitation time because they want to spend time with the kids and give the BP a break.

There are PLENTY of times DH works weekends-BM will still bring the kids to our home-and they will spend the weekend with me....only getting to see dad for a few hours total vs the normal amount.

It's not that big of a deal for the most part, if all parties are okay with the situation.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:10 PM
Me,personally,I couldn't do this. If I was the BM I would stick with if a bio parent is gone that long,they go to the other bio parent.

Bm is fine with this? Just curious:)


Quoting CKuse:

I have ss right now and dh isn't home.... I will have him by myself during the day all week while dh is at work. When dh deploys Ss will still come over as scheduled to see his siblings and I.
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Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:12 PM
I let my dds go over to bio dads moms house on holidays. Even though bd probably isn't there half the time.

Usually it's my exs mom or his sister that "takes the visitation". It's fine with me usually.
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Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:18 PM
Like today,it's bms night. Dh has had his sons for his "week" but dh has a holiday today. Via CO, bm time starts at 530 pm.

Bm is trying to get them now. Dh is pissed bc he feels why is bm even asking. (She's been doing this a lot lately). If it was just me at home,I don't see an issue for them to go to bms early. (If dh is at work)

BUT.... My dh made his work schedule just so he can see his sons from 3-530. So my dh likes them here at HIS home until 530. I see his point I guess. Bm makes my dh seem like a dick and a control freak bc my dh does this.

It is getting harder for my dh. I told him to tell her since she's messing with the CO,then he will also;by cutting that CS check in half. Lol! Jk ladies. Sort of.
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Steamedpuddle30
by Hi, my name is... on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:19 PM
1 mom liked this
This is bm in the summer !lol!!

I'm like take them! It's less mouths to feed!lol


Quoting faerie75:

Not to mention, some BP don't WANT the kids on the other parent's time. Lol.



Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting kristinbugg:

I've never understood why some SPs feel they are entitled to take BP's visitation time with SCs.  Visitation is for the child to spend time with their BP, not for them to spend time with SP or with SP's children.

I get my skids on DH's time....BM doesn't care neither do I or DH. Some stepparents....actually want to spend time with their skids.

And maybe some sp's feel entitled to BP visitation time because they want to spend time with the kids and give the BP a break.

There are PLENTY of times DH works weekends-BM will still bring the kids to our home-and they will spend the weekend with me....only getting to see dad for a few hours total vs the normal amount.

It's not that big of a deal for the most part, if all parties are okay with the situation.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kristinbugg
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 2:36 PM
1 mom liked this
If BM is okay with it, fine.

What I'm referring to is the SMs who get on here and whine because BM won't agree to send her children to Dad's...when Dad won't even be there.


Quoting Tigress22304:


Quoting kristinbugg:

I've never understood why some SPs feel they are entitled to take BP's visitation time with SCs.  Visitation is for the child to spend time with their BP, not for them to spend time with SP or with SP's children.

I get my skids on DH's time....BM doesn't care neither do I or DH. Some stepparents....actually want to spend time with their skids.

And maybe some sp's feel entitled to BP visitation time because they want to spend time with the kids and give the BP a break.

There are PLENTY of times DH works weekends-BM will still bring the kids to our home-and they will spend the weekend with me....only getting to see dad for a few hours total vs the normal amount.

It's not that big of a deal for the most part, if all parties are okay with the situation.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
CKuse
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:30 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes she's fine with it. She has told me she trusts me 100% with him. She has even called me to have him for her during her parenting time if she or her other kids have an appointment or she wants to run errands or something. plus i think she enjoys getting a break every once in a while, what momma doesn't? Lol

Quoting Steamedpuddle30:

Me,personally,I couldn't do this. If I was the BM I would stick with if a bio parent is gone that long,they go to the other bio parent.



Bm is fine with this? Just curious:)




Quoting CKuse:

I have ss right now and dh isn't home.... I will have him by myself during the day all week while dh is at work. When dh deploys Ss will still come over as scheduled to see his siblings and I.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:52 PM
1 mom liked this
I know this is going to surprise you guys lol BUT I'm ok with dd going to visit step families. I prefer dad to be there but I honestly wouldn't know if he wasn't. The thing is, my dd may not like the situation she is in right now and is on a lot of conflict but she loves her stepgrandma and she is pretty close to her stepsister. At her age, I leave it up to her. Dad isn't going to be there but Sm is taking y'all to see her parents, want to go? Mostly she will say yes but sometimes she does say no. My dd is extremely close to my father in law and mother in law. We plan our gatherings with their family on MY time. I would never ask dad to give up a holiday for my husband and his family. Her dads family is more important. But that is just me. And all situations are different. We rarely visit my in laws if we don't have dd. we just plan around when we will all be there.
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momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 3:55 PM
I finally got to that point too. Embracing my ME time. Like this weekend, sure I would have loved to have had my dd for the long weekend however instead I got a sitter for Ds and dh and I had 3 days of US Time. And we loved it!!


Quoting CKuse:

Yes she's fine with it. She has told me she trusts me 100% with him. She has even called me to have him for her during her parenting time if she or her other kids have an appointment or she wants to run errands or something. plus i think she enjoys getting a break every once in a while, what momma doesn't? Lol



Quoting Steamedpuddle30:

Me,personally,I couldn't do this. If I was the BM I would stick with if a bio parent is gone that long,they go to the other bio parent.





Bm is fine with this? Just curious:)






Quoting CKuse:

I have ss right now and dh isn't home.... I will have him by myself during the day all week while dh is at work. When dh deploys Ss will still come over as scheduled to see his siblings and I.

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