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Spinoff from Who has it worst...

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:04 PM
  • 10 Replies

Most of the ladies agree that the kids have it the worst.  So what can we as parents either bio or step do to make this easier on the kids?  What can we avoid doing to make it easier on them? 

by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
kristen518-06
by Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:15 PM

def avoid fighting with each other! we are the adults and need to act like it in front of the kids

leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:21 PM
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Stay in the background where BM and the child are concerned, only communicate with my husband, that has worked.

ramita
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:23 PM
I agree with Kristen the adults needs to be just that adults. If we have problems it should be handle away from the kids or in a calm matter. People aren't always going to get along, but we can have adult conversations I stead of yelling, cussing, etc in front of the kids.

Also, we could try to hear the kids out about how they feel and what they want. If they're upset we as their parent should try to help them. If one parent is seeing problems with the child the other should listen and at the very least try speaking with the child to help the other parent.
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packermomof2
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:31 PM

Not divorce.  Work it out.  When that doesn't work, act like adult.  Don't fight over the kids or over stupid things.  Let the parents parent and raise their kids and work things out without involving third parties into the situations (decisions conversations, etc) unless boht parents are on board with it.  Don't do the "MY TIME" thing, do the "it's the kids life" thing.  Realize the fights aren't going to matter in the long run.  PIck your battles.  A united front with the parents (mom and dad) can do wonders.

krazykiddles
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:32 PM

I agree with you.  How can you make that work when one parent is hell-bent on making the other parent's life miserable?

Quoting packermomof2:

Not divorce.  Work it out.  When that doesn't work, act like adult.  Don't fight over the kids or over stupid things.  Let the parents parent and raise their kids and work things out without involving third parties into the situations (decisions conversations, etc) unless boht parents are on board with it.  Don't do the "MY TIME" thing, do the "it's the kids life" thing.  Realize the fights aren't going to matter in the long run.  PIck your battles.  A united front with the parents (mom and dad) can do wonders.


Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:33 PM

Always encourage a good relationship between the child and their parents, not just the one you're married to. Never speak poorly about the child's parents to them or around them.

Understand how incredible difficult it is emotionally and psychologically to go back and forth (regardless of how often it is) and be understanding of behaviors that you or your spouse deem unacceptable but that the other parent allows.

Make sure that you give the child time to adjust when coming into your home. This may mean their bio-parent needs to do a quick run down of the rules/expectations, especailly if they are different than the other home.

Make sure the child has time to just BE with their parent. 

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:35 PM

Been there, done that.

The most important thing there is to NEVER let it show to the child. Smile even when you feel like crying/yelling/screaming. Treat the other parent with respect in front of the child, regardless of how you feel about them. 


Quoting krazykiddles:

I agree with you.  How can you make that work when one parent is hell-bent on making the other parent's life miserable?

Quoting packermomof2:

Not divorce.  Work it out.  When that doesn't work, act like adult.  Don't fight over the kids or over stupid things.  Let the parents parent and raise their kids and work things out without involving third parties into the situations (decisions conversations, etc) unless boht parents are on board with it.  Don't do the "MY TIME" thing, do the "it's the kids life" thing.  Realize the fights aren't going to matter in the long run.  PIck your battles.  A united front with the parents (mom and dad) can do wonders.




annabl1970
by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:39 PM
1 mom liked this

Love Your Kids MORE than you hate your Ex.

Polkadotted
by Gold Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 11:31 PM

Accept that the kids will want to love or be loyal to both parents.  Don't make them choose.

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 1:36 AM
Be more freakin civil.
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