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Week on week off

Posted by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 10:27 AM
  • 11 Replies
How do your skids. Do with split custody? So many day it's hard on the child and I can fully understand how as I did for a bit as a child. My sd12 though seems to fully enjoy it though as both get patents have created a bff type of relationship with her and every new week means she has a new friend and a new adult to spoil her. Any one else see this? Should I worry she hides issues or could she have really worked out the benefit in this for her?
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by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 10:27 AM
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by Platinum Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 10:39 AM

I hate the summer when DH and BM do week on/off.  Not sure if he will be agreeing to it again.

If there is no problem then why go looking for one?

by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 10:43 AM
Not looking for one just looking for other people's experience. Well the problem I do see in our situation is the over compensation between both patents and both wanting to be a friend first, but this is something I've fought and lost with my husband as he doesn't want to see it. I'm over it.. Just not sure how healthy it is and if it'll have long term effects on my sd. She already has no desire to have friends as she has her parents. And during the summer while we are at work she spends her entire day with the tv then the minute we get home she's on us like flies.
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by Gold Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 10:56 AM

Chances are that it will cause issues for her and her parents when she gets older. However, it is really only an issue if her parents are the ones having problems with her because of their actions. If they aren't willing to see what they are doing, then they will be the ones to fix it when she gets older.

by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 12:05 PM
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My SDs have done the weekly swap for years.  I don't think that going back and forth has been an issue.

But I do understand the friend vs parent thing.  As the kids have gotten older I think that both Mom and Dad have realized that it's not very functional/healthy in the long run.  But that was something they had to come to on their own.  

I don't think that the 50/50 schedule is the cause of the friendly parenting.  

by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 12:56 PM
Maybe it's because I've never been involved in one of those 2-2-5-5 (or similar) situations, but they just seem so chaotic to me.
ExDF has his kids for three weeks at a time, then they go to their mom for three weeks. Thats due to his work schedule...Seems to me that the kids do better in that scenario than having to go back and forth more often. Even week on/off seems better (to me) than splitting up the week.
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by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 2:04 PM
Before the co was finalized they did the 2-2-5-5. It was chaotic. Bm couldn't ever remember when her weekend was. I recall going to the school with Dh to pick SD up. She wasn't at carpool. We go in and bm is having a teacher conference, swears it is her weekend. Secretary believes her, threatens to call cops. Dh pulls out the temp co. Bm brings SD. Says oh I forgot and leaves without telling SD bye.

Now we do Friday after school to Sunday at 5. It is supposed to be to Monday morning but I was doing all the driving and it also gives SD a chance to get home and see bm before starting her week. Summers they rotate 2 weeks here, 1 week there. Thanksgiving every other year.Christmas is split and he gets every spring break.
A week on/week off I think would be better. He could be more involved in school and she would actually get homework done and what not. But we live in a different county and driving 50 miles round trip twice a day is just not feasible.
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by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 2:49 PM
DH and BM do 50/50 by the week. Exchanges are Monday afternoon after school. We have done this for 3-4 years. Works well other than a lack of communication from BM in important info during her week (parent teacher conferences, enrollment in HS, etc). I can't imagine doing the 2-2-5-5 swap! Has to be hectic!!
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by Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 6:31 PM

 I did week on week off when my boys were little. My ex and I lived on around the corner from each other. So they played on the same street and were able to run back and forth to share school notices or assignments. The boys great grandmother and grandmother also lived in the same block...It worked for us for about 7 years and we did no child support, since we were equally caring for them. It doesn't always work for everyone, but for us, it was nice for our kids.

by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 6:51 PM

It really depends on the child. Friends of ours did every weekend at mom's house and M-F at dad's house, and the kids were great. Then they went to week on, week off - it didn't work at all. Now they split the week in half - still does not work great. My SS visits BM EOWE and he has a very hard time to re-adjust. But maybe the difference is that BM never really raised him (his dad did) and BM wants to be a friends and not a parent.

Like I said, it depends on the child.

by Anonymous on Apr. 2, 2013 at 7:05 PM
It worked ok for us until school-age then it got way to chaotic.
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