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They're moving...and...

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies

We got notice yesterday that bm for my ss12 is moving.  Right now we get him one night a week and every other weekend.  They are pulling him out of school and moving him 30 miles away to be closer to bm's husbands work - he has only held this job for approximately 6 months and hasn't been known to hold down a job for any period of time.  This decision was made without discussing it with my husband at all.  Paperwork states these decisions need to be made together but the only way to enforce it is to go back to court and spend thousands of dollars.  With this move, we will likely lose the overnight we get during the week because of school and transportation.  I have so many frustrations with this because I hate that we will be losing time, but to pull him out of the school he has been in for the last 7 years for no reason?!?!  That's not fair to him either!  There is no way to make her understand.  She is a child and everything is a game.  Everything she does is an attempt to keep him away from his father - who she is always quit to say is a horrible person and I'm just selfish.  What do we do?  What can we do?  Just sit back and let it happen?  We can't afford the legal fees right now.  It makes me want to cry and I feel so helpless.     

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:28 AM
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Replies (1-10):
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:38 AM

If you can't afford to take it to court and try and stop it then there is nothing you can do.  Dad can go 1 night a week and have dinner/spend time with his child and keep EOWE.

whatIknownow
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:49 AM
1 mom liked this

It doesn't sound like it was for no reason. It was so your SS's stepfather, the breadwinner of the family, would have a shorter commute.

You could look into filing pro se, if she is violating the court order. You don't need a lawyer to do everything for you. Just do a little research. You would have to prove that moving is not in SS's best interest, and that it would significantly hinder your DH's ability to participate in  his son's life to the same extent that he can now. This would then qualify as a "change in circumstance" which could be used to support a modification of the parenting schedule.

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:55 AM

Moving for work-related reasons isn't "no reason".  And 30 miles really isn't that far.  Since you can't do anything about it, why not start working on some solutions?  Would BM be willing to meet you halfway?

sid1083
by Bronze Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 9:59 AM
First, life isn't fair. Second, if dad doesn't like the move, HE can file something with the court. "We" don't need to do anything.
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Panda113
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 10:43 AM
30 miles isn't that fair. I commute 70 to work (one way) every day. If your DH really wanted to maintain his overnight weekday visit, he could but it would take a little extra effort.
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Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 12:03 PM

A contempt of court filing fee in our county is $50. You don't HAVE to have an attorney. Contact the Bar Association in your county and ask about legal assistance programs in your state and county. Many will offer free or VERY low cost legal advice or at the very least help filling out the paperwork properly. You can also check and see if your courthouse has a court facilitator. In our county is $20 an hour ($10 an hour if you are low income) to look over your paperwork and to help you do things correctly.

So, there are options. But, YOU can't do it, your DH has to be the one to get it done. 

liltigersmom
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 12:08 PM
You might want to check the co. Some say anymore than xx miles, you have to get the op permission.
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WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 12:09 PM

First he will need to double check the CO. Some have rules on moving, some don't.  If his doesn't then she isn't in contempt.

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

A contempt of court filing fee in our county is $50. You don't HAVE to have an attorney. Contact the Bar Association in your county and ask about legal assistance programs in your state and county. Many will offer free or VERY low cost legal advice or at the very least help filling out the paperwork properly. You can also check and see if your courthouse has a court facilitator. In our county is $20 an hour ($10 an hour if you are low income) to look over your paperwork and to help you do things correctly.

So, there are options. But, YOU can't do it, your DH has to be the one to get it done. 



Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 12:36 PM

Yes, very true.


In our state they automatically list the laws regarding the CP moving. If it's out of the current school district they are required to file a petition with the courts to allow the move. It must be 60 days notice and the NCP has 30 days to file a notice if they don't want to allow the move. If the NCP files that, a court date is set for the parents to argue the best interest of the child.


Quoting WifeyC:

First he will need to double check the CO. Some have rules on moving, some don't.  If his doesn't then she isn't in contempt.

Quoting Tinkerbellmama:

A contempt of court filing fee in our county is $50. You don't HAVE to have an attorney. Contact the Bar Association in your county and ask about legal assistance programs in your state and county. Many will offer free or VERY low cost legal advice or at the very least help filling out the paperwork properly. You can also check and see if your courthouse has a court facilitator. In our county is $20 an hour ($10 an hour if you are low income) to look over your paperwork and to help you do things correctly.

So, there are options. But, YOU can't do it, your DH has to be the one to get it done. 





notsowicked11
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 1:30 PM

well, the bright side is that it's only 30 minutes and not 3 hours or 30 hours! my ss's mom up and moved a year ago, didn't even notify dh or tell him where they were moving to (so he could pick up his son for visitations) or which school he would be going to. it was 20 minutes away, so it wasn't that far, but for a solid month, dh had no idea where his son was. so be thankful that at least y'all were notified. it could be worse. 

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