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Overstepper over here!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 72 Replies
6 moms liked this

I am pretty sure I am an overstepping SM according to reading posts on here. I am custodial SM. DH's daughter lives here with us full time since she was pretty much a year old. I take care of her with DH all the time. We raise her 9 months aka the majority of the year. She may not be my DAUGHTER but she is MY STEPDAUGHTER. I don't understand what is so wrong with being an active stepparent when you are custodial and pretty much raise the child more than the actual parent. 

Posted by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:42 PM
1 mom liked this
Why anon?
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liltigersmom
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:43 PM

what does custodial have to do with anything?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:44 PM
9 moms liked this

Don't categorize yourself according to what some posters say SMs are.  Some of them are BMs who resent the SMs who are in their childrens' lives.  

Polkadotted
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:46 PM
So mom is involved parenting 100% for 3 months in summer and breaks?
You can be active without running the show.
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liltigersmom
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:47 PM
1 mom liked this

 which bm's are those?

Quoting Anonymous:

Don't categorize yourself according to what some posters say SMs are.  Some of them are BMs who resent the SMs who are in their childrens' lives.  

 

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 11:55 PM
1 mom liked this

Without going into specifics about WHY I do the things I do as a CSM, many people would assume that I over step. I do everything (school, parent/teacher conferences, doctors, therapists, etc)

However, with more details about how BM and DH have both given me Power of Attorney to do that for SD as well as the fact that BM lives in the same city as us and willingly gives up 60% of her visitation.

Tillymommie
by Gold Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:03 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

Don't categorize yourself according to what some posters say SMs are.  Some of them are BMs who resent the SMs who are in their childrens' lives.  

I am a CSM and don't deal with a SM, so no resentment.

You can be an active SP, but most here will tell you that its still your DH's job to be the parent, since you know he is and all. Also don't get hurt when the kids chose to acknowledge Bm for anything (cards, weddings, anything now or in the future) as their mother. Cause she is.

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children. Do you understand? ~The Crow

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:06 AM

bm takes her for the summer but i wouldn't say that makes her 100% involved. it is basically just her try to make SD love her more by buying her everything she wants. and she only has the day before and after the holiday on odd years. not hte whole break 

and i bring custody into it because DH has custody and she lives with us full time and him and I raise her full time not her mom. if he didn't have custody it wouldn't be the same

ColdSilveRain
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:20 AM
4 moms liked this

Kudos to you! Nice to see another SM who loves her SK's! 

Nature_girl
by Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 12:22 AM
2 moms liked this

 Why is that bad? Why are you concerned that others think it is bad on a converstation board?  Being an active step parent is not over stepping. Over stepping in one situation may not be over stepping in another. KWIM?

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