Monday i went to the doctors to see if i could just get a script for being anxious all the time. I have always been this way but now in just tired of fighting it. Doctor did a physical and found that i have a nodule on my thyroid and half of it was swollen up. Got a slew of blood work done and a thyroid ultra sound and tomorrow i find out the results. I have a sinking feeling its going to be cancer,it runs in my family and i have had cervical cancer already and a non cancerous lump removed from my breast a couple of years ago.
I have told my bio a lil about whats going on,its hard to hide since she lives with us and wants to know why i have had a lot of doc appts in just one week. Im not sure as to when or if i should tell sk's. They dont live with us. The oldest will be 20 soon and graduating from prototype school in july,so i dont want to ruin that for her,she has worked to hard for any attention to get taken away from that. The youngest who is 16 and lives out of state,im not sure she would even care that much.We have a decent relationship,its civil but far from strong. Not to mention my dh ex has border line personality disorder and when i had a scare with my breast she magically had females problems 2 days later. I really do not want to have to deal with bm calling and trying to one up me. I know how that sounds but she has done it a lot in the past,and to be honest i dont think my dh would be able to handle any drama that may start.
Right now im just at a loss and my dh will not talk about the possibility of it being cancer. I tried talking to my mom but she breaks down in tears every time. We lost my dad to cancer,her mom,her aunt and she helped me through my cervical cancer. I do not want to put my mom through any more than she has been through. So here i am trying to cope and stay sane by myself.
Just got back from doctors. All blood works looks good. White blood cell count is 11.9 and i have to take vitamin d3 however they did find 2 nodules on the left side of my thyroid. I go in for a biopsy Monday afternoon. Doc said it looked like and talks like cancer she just wants to be sure,so now another round of the waiting game begins.My husband lost it in the office,my mother and sister are freaking out but they did say they would be there no matter what. Lucky for me my sister is a nurse and is helping understand on my level what every thing means and what to expect,she even said she would move her if i needed her so my mother wont have to take on the burden,again,of caring for me.
on Apr. 4, 2013 at 3:53 PM