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bring a bag?

Posted by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 12:17 AM
  • 33 Replies

ok this is a spin off from my other post about sharing clothes, one person said that stepkid should bring a bag of clothes for the weekend since he doesn't "live" in our home (no sense in having two wardrobes), so I am just wondering if that is a general consensus?  

for those of you whose stepkids come for weekend visitation, do you expect them to bring a bag of their things for the weekend or does your stepkid have their own things at your house? 


my thoughts are that our home is stepson's home too, even though he primarily lives with mom. therefore, he should have his own things at our home so he feels welcome and knows that just because he "lives" with mom, our home is his other home too. besides, dh can't rely on mom to pack him things for the weekend. she doesn't accomodate anyone, so that would not be a viable option. But what are your thoughs?

by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 12:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lnr187
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 12:21 AM

 ss lives with us. we've never packed a bag for ss to visit... the clothes would be destroyed or not returned. a few months ago i did send a bag of stuff for her to keep though. she kept sending him in clothes that did not fit. we sent 4 pants, 4 shirts, 4 underwear, and 4 pairs socks. also sneakers, boots, and coat but those go back and forth as they are ss 'play clothes' here.

PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 12:28 AM
Our state automatically states in COs that NCPs are to provide clothes and items while the kids are in their care. I pack DD a bag but not of clothes for the weekend but things like her blanky, her medications, the clothes BD had sent her back in last visit, and what not. We've never had issues with it.

P.S- if BD asked I wouldn't have an issue sending her things. But like you, I think it's important she has stuff at both houses.
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leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 12:30 AM

If visits are consistently every other weekend, I suspect there will be a small bag of personal items that will go back and forth even if the stepchild has their own things at the home.

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 12:33 AM

My SD's always had a full closet at each house (50/50) but STILL insisted on taking a bag of fave clothes back and forth.  They didn't HAVE to.  But they did.  And right now while we're doing this temporary LD thing, they have nothing here at our house. Nothing.  And so they have to pack a bag.  They're older though. They can pack what they want.

We never had clothes at my dad's for weekend visits.  It wasn't a big deal.  It was like going to a slumber party.  Unless someone makes a deal of it, it shouldn't be a big deal?

Pink_Handcuffs
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 12:59 AM
Exdh has clothes for the kids at his home. But dd, packs tons of clothes, you'd think she's going away for months.

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pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 1:32 AM
DDs have always packed a bag to go to BFs EOWE. And like PP, even if they had clothes at both homes, my guess is they would still pack. Teen girls.

SSs never pack clothes, Full wardrobe at our home and BMs.

So, I see both ways as valid.
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pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 1:35 AM
4 moms liked this
Problems start when parents start bickering about where the blue sweater is or the black jeans. When parents get territorial about clothes, I would imagine it to be really hard on a kid.
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macbudsmom
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 1:35 AM
I pack bags for my kids to take to Dads.
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-KJ
by Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 1:40 AM
My ss always had clothes and personal items at both houses and nothing went back and forth unless he was wearing it at the time. Part of it was because anything we sent him back in, we never saw again! I got tired of always buying more than needed! He now lives with us and goes to his moms every other weekend and brings a few things back and forth but he's 13 and knows where the stuff belongs!
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Pinot
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 1:45 AM
If NCP pays child support then they help support purchasing clothes. I have found my kids and steps are more comfortable with bringing the clothes they like to wear or their favorites. I think it's more about the comfort of the kids than other issues people make it to be. Not my hill to die on.
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