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Bm constantly changing the agreement...

Posted by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 2:33 PM
  • 45 Replies

I realize Dh should get things done through court, we're working on that so please don't bash.

Anyway, Bm moved with very little notice, 4 hours away last fall. So she changed our visitation from 2 days a week to EOWeekend. But she said she would drive back to the town she lived in before for drop offs and pick ups, which is only 40 minutes away from us. Now she has switched our visitation to 5-6 days straight every month so that she doesn't have to drive as often. (We're fine with this because it gives us extra time) However, now she's asking us to drive halfway for pick ups and drop offs because she can't afford it.

What should my Dh say to get her to drive to where she originally agreed? Because we really can't afford all that driving and SHE'S the one who decided to quit her job, pick up and move for no reason. 

by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 2:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Rae706
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 2:36 PM

If you don't have a CO, I suggest you appease BM until you can get one. She could easily make you do %100 of the driving and cut your time. 

faerie75
by Platinum Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 2:36 PM
1 mom liked this
Idk what to suggest other than get it legal.
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ramita
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 2:37 PM
I'm not sure why y'all aren't able to afford meeting halfway twice a month. Its 40 minutes one way so for me in my 1999 Durango that would be $20 in gas a month.

As far as getting her to drive it instead offer her gas money, swap out months her driving it all one month you guys do all driving the next, her driving one way you guys driving the other.
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dallas4nu
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 2:38 PM
I would meet her halfway for now, until you get something in writing because she could be a b#@!! and not bring the child at all. Your kind of at her mercy w/o a CO.

Just a heads up though, its likely the judge will require you to meet halfway anyway so you might be better off gettin used to it now. It sucks though, I'm sorry.
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amantonacci
by Gold Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 2:39 PM
I would do what she asks if there is no co in place.
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abigailsmommy11
by Kelli on Apr. 5, 2013 at 2:42 PM

You misread my post. She lives 4 hours away now, so for us to drive halfway, it's 2 hours to get to her and then 2 hours to get home. The original agreement is to meet in the town 40 minutes away from us, so an 80 minute round trip for us. BIG difference!


Quoting ramita:

I'm not sure why y'all aren't able to afford meeting halfway twice a month. Its 40 minutes one way so for me in my 1999 Durango that would be $20 in gas a month.

As far as getting her to drive it instead offer her gas money, swap out months her driving it all one month you guys do all driving the next, her driving one way you guys driving the other.



abigailsmommy11
by Kelli on Apr. 5, 2013 at 2:44 PM

Would it be okay to remind her that she's the one who chose to move away and volunteered to do most of the driving. Or would that likely just piss her off?


Quoting dallas4nu:

I would meet her halfway for now, until you get something in writing because she could be a b#@!! and not bring the child at all. Your kind of at her mercy w/o a CO.

Just a heads up though, its likely the judge will require you to meet halfway anyway so you might be better off gettin used to it now. It sucks though, I'm sorry.



ramita
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 2:48 PM
Sorry I had DD asking me stuff while I was reading. Again though its only twice a month so what $40. Yes that sucks, but to be honest meeting halfway is usually what a custody order ends up having parents do. If not meeting halfway then its a swap. One parent driving one way the other parent driving the other or one driving one visit the other driving the next.

Your only other option is to give her gas money for her trips for now...


Quoting abigailsmommy11:

You misread my post. She lives 4 hours away now, so for us to drive halfway, it's 2 hours to get to her and then 2 hours to get home. The original agreement is to meet in the town 40 minutes away from us, so an 80 minute round trip for us. BIG difference!



Quoting ramita:

I'm not sure why y'all aren't able to afford meeting halfway twice a month. Its 40 minutes one way so for me in my 1999 Durango that would be $20 in gas a month.



As far as getting her to drive it instead offer her gas money, swap out months her driving it all one month you guys do all driving the next, her driving one way you guys driving the other.





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abigailsmommy11
by Kelli on Apr. 5, 2013 at 2:50 PM

Yeah, we don't like giving her money because she usually spends it on Marijuana =[


Quoting ramita:

Sorry I had DD asking me stuff while I was reading. Again though its only twice a month so what $40. Yes that sucks, but to be honest meeting halfway is usually what a custody order ends up having parents do. If not meeting halfway then its a swap. One parent driving one way the other parent driving the other or one driving one visit the other driving the next.

Your only other option is to give her gas money for her trips for now...


Quoting abigailsmommy11:

You misread my post. She lives 4 hours away now, so for us to drive halfway, it's 2 hours to get to her and then 2 hours to get home. The original agreement is to meet in the town 40 minutes away from us, so an 80 minute round trip for us. BIG difference!



Quoting ramita:

I'm not sure why y'all aren't able to afford meeting halfway twice a month. Its 40 minutes one way so for me in my 1999 Durango that would be $20 in gas a month.



As far as getting her to drive it instead offer her gas money, swap out months her driving it all one month you guys do all driving the next, her driving one way you guys driving the other.







Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 5, 2013 at 3:00 PM
Well marijuana is better than crack...


Quoting abigailsmommy11:

Yeah, we don't like giving her money because she usually spends it on Marijuana =[



Quoting ramita:

Sorry I had DD asking me stuff while I was reading. Again though its only twice a month so what $40. Yes that sucks, but to be honest meeting halfway is usually what a custody order ends up having parents do. If not meeting halfway then its a swap. One parent driving one way the other parent driving the other or one driving one visit the other driving the next.



Your only other option is to give her gas money for her trips for now...





Quoting abigailsmommy11:

You misread my post. She lives 4 hours away now, so for us to drive halfway, it's 2 hours to get to her and then 2 hours to get home. The original agreement is to meet in the town 40 minutes away from us, so an 80 minute round trip for us. BIG difference!




Quoting ramita:

I'm not sure why y'all aren't able to afford meeting halfway twice a month. Its 40 minutes one way so for me in my 1999 Durango that would be $20 in gas a month.





As far as getting her to drive it instead offer her gas money, swap out months her driving it all one month you guys do all driving the next, her driving one way you guys driving the other.











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