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Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

just a vent. bash or advise, it makes no difference.

Posted by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:41 PM
  • 33 Replies
So I took the week off. Sd10 is here for spring break. Dh worked monday-thursday. SD has made life a complete hell since she got here last Thursday. Things just got worse when Dh was at work. I have told Dh every night what went on while he was working. He didn't say anything to her about anything.

He gets up this morning. Our ds4 had wet the bed. This is a rarity, maybe twice a month. Dh fusses at him about wetting the bed. All 3 kids were playing. Sd10 starts throwing balls in the house, which she knows better. Ds4 throws one, hits something, gets yelled at by Dh . last weekend, Dh had a bad attitude toward me and seemed like he did nothing but bitch at me all day Saturday. This is not normal for him, he is a pretty laid back guy. Last Sunday, he bitched and fussed at ds4 the entire day. He can be a brat, all kids can. We were at the in-laws and he didn't understand that they were hiding eggs for the kids. He just wanted to go outside and play. He was super tired and whiney. Dh yelled at him in frontof aabout 20 people because he wouldn't sit down. Meanwhile, SD and all the other kids were running around and being kids.

Today, sd10 acted the perfect angel all day. He never had to repeat himself, she didn't scream at him like she did me all week, was respectful etc. So yes I was irritated at both. He is not here and she is a complete brat. He said nothing to her about her behavior all week. He just spends the day jumping my shit and being an ass and constantly fussing at ds4 for doing typical four year old things. I was so irritated and not to mention I am 29 weeks prego and feeling crappy so I went to bed. I slept for 5 hours and left him to play with all 3 kids alone all day.

*afterthought* I am seriously considering telling him to find someone to watch her but I don't know how we would afford that. I will be out of work on maternity leave then so we won't have my check coming in. Plus, I started feeling bad because he leaves at 6am and usually doesn't get home til 630 pm. He sits in traffic for an hour in the am and pm to commute. So he would have to leave earlier, get home later to take her. So SD would be up super early and then not get home til almost 7pm. I feel bad about that but I don't think I should feel bad. Then I thought that he and bm could work something out between them, but her work schedule is weird and that would put both of them doing a lot of driving. Plus last summer they tried to change the agreement so that SD wasn't going back and forth so much. She came to us every other weekend. It was supposed to help her behavior. It made it worse. I kinda feel stuck between a rock and a hard place here.
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by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
faerie75
by Platinum Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:47 PM
I'm glad my SO wouldn't expect me to be at home w the skids all week while he worked. He only leaves me w them for an hour or two here and there. Sorry you had a crappy week.
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thatislife
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:50 PM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like bd needs to get a babysitter for the little princess.

LittleMama2012
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:52 PM
It is our normal thing. He works full time and makes good money so I can work part time, attend school full time. My kids are little and daycare is super expensive and we had some issues when we tried that. Plus I like not missing out on stuff while they're little.

Normally SD is at BMS during the week. He just always has her for spring break. In the summer we alternate two weeks on and 1 week off. I will be on maternity leave and after this week, he might have to pick up some hours to pay for a sitter for her.


Quoting faerie75:

I'm glad my SO wouldn't expect me to be at home w the skids all week while he worked. He only leaves me w them for an hour or two here and there. Sorry you had a crappy week.

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LittleMama2012
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:54 PM
Yeah I was thinking that. He knows about her behavioral issues. Its been going on for 5 years. Lately he seems to not say much to her about it at all. It is getting old. She even said,"who cares because daddy doesn't say anything to me."




Quoting thatislife:

Sounds like bd needs to get a babysitter for the little princess.


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tilly030409
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 9:01 PM

I would be gettting a camcorder and show him what is going on during the time he is away from home and then inform him that he will need a babysitter for her during his time because for you this behavior is unacceptable and it looks bad for the other kids to see her getting away with it.....

If you show him what is going on instead of telling him it might get the point across a little better for him. 

shanlee42
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 9:02 PM
He shouldn't expect you to be her babysitter while he is at work. I would tell him that he needs to put his foot down about her behavior or find her a sitter.
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shanlee42
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 9:02 PM
Good luck.
LittleMama2012
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 10:01 PM
I have one. Good idea. This drives me nuts because he knows all this happens. This isn't a new thing. Just lately he seems not to be addressing it at all.


Quoting tilly030409:

I would be gettting a camcorder and show him what is going on during the time he is away from home and then inform him that he will need a babysitter for her during his time because for you this behavior is unacceptable and it looks bad for the other kids to see her getting away with it.....

If you show him what is going on instead of telling him it might get the point across a little better for him. 


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tilly030409
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 10:16 PM

iI would sit down and address this problem with him. I have a girlfriend who goes through this same problem and her hubby has done the same thing. She tells me constantly how he will ignore the problems she brings up about her SD but if one of the other girls act up he is so quick to jump on them about any and everything. Hugs for being in your situation. I hope you guys can come up with workable plan to manage these problems.

Quoting LittleMama2012:

I have one. Good idea. This drives me nuts because he knows all this happens. This isn't a new thing. Just lately he seems not to be addressing it at all.


Quoting tilly030409:

I would be gettting a camcorder and show him what is going on during the time he is away from home and then inform him that he will need a babysitter for her during his time because for you this behavior is unacceptable and it looks bad for the other kids to see her getting away with it.....

If you show him what is going on instead of telling him it might get the point across a little better for him. 



ramita
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2013 at 10:29 PM
Definitely record everything you can. As soon as it looks like she is going to start her stuff with you start recording. If she straightens out then great, but record everything you can delete if it turns out as nothing.

Next anytime after a bad day take you and your kids (not SD) out. Go anywhere, the park, chuckie cheese, or just to your local grocery store or mall. Anywhere to get out and away.

Then tell your DH if he will nit be supportive you WILL NOT be watching her. HE can hire a babysitter.

Sorry DH is an ass....hope it gets better!
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