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Wedding in two weeks! Please help! STB daddy little girl situation!!!

Posted by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 8:31 PM
  • 120 Replies
OK,so Im getting married in two weeks and im really excited! Everything ive thought of as a little girl is coming true! Except for one detail that I never really thought about because it never crossed my mind as a child. I love, love, love, loooove my stb stepdaughter! She is 8 stb 9 and we get along great! The pickle im stuck in is that she is a hands down daddys little girl! She is an only child and always wants to be a part of everything, which is awesome, except for when it comes to my wedding day and a possible "stealing the show" situation. My fiance said to me the other day- "do you think she should sit with us at our sweetheart table?" ughhhh i wanted to be nice about it but i kinda snapped- and said no. They are going to have a daddy/daughter special dance and she has her own intro as "special head-flower girl" and i was thinking maybe she can eat cake with us? I'm just nervous about the special day I have thought of forever being completely shared. Is that selfish of me? I know my little stb step daughter will want to be with her dad the ENTIRE night. What is the proper etiquette for this kind of situation? PLEASE HELP!!!
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 8:31 PM
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JacyB
by Bronze Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 8:39 PM
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...you know once you're married you have to share every day(or every weekend or EOWE or however often he has her) right??
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jadedcynic
by Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 8:42 PM
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You marry him, she comes as a package deal. You are a family. If you are going to be like that, maybe you aren't ready to be married to someone who has a child. What is wrong with her sitting at the table with you? It cements the idea that you are now a family.

Loved1234
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 8:42 PM

ofcourse! I have my sd more then her mother or father do! My fiance works ALOT. I dont have a problem with that. I basically have her everyday with like two days without her... I love that, I Love her... that is my point i sacrafice my whole life for this kid (and enjoy doing so) just wish this could be "my night" ya know?

Loved1234
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 8:48 PM

i think my post came off wrong- I know im basically "marrying" her too....and i love that idea of being a family! I cant cant wait! We get along great and ive been in her life for 3 years now... i was just talking about ONE night MY wedding night.. there has to be some balance for my wedding night? Can we share ANY intimate moments for this night... she will constantly want to be with him the entire night... idk maybe this is the wrong site for me..was just looking for proper etiquette for this type of sitaution..

Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 8:48 PM
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Have you discussed with your fiance what the plan is for her during the reception? Do you have someone who can watch her, occupy her, and otherwise keep her busy, safe, and happy? If not, I think you should definitely find someone who can do that. Maybe an aunt or uncle, or older cousin. Maybe put together a box of arts and crafts, maybe a new DS game (if she has one) or other special things for her to play with and keep it just for the reception.

Loved1234
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 8:51 PM

yes tinker we have discussed her possibly sitting with his mother... and keeping her occupied with things like that but if she sees her dad dancing or cutting a cake she will want to be front and center...which i dont blame her she loves him and me for that matter  but I just think certain things on this night should be the two of us..ya know?

jadedcynic
by Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 8:51 PM

It's HIS wedding, too, not just yours. I know you have the whole little girl dream, but there are 2 people getting married, not just one. And one of those people has a child who he would like in the ceremony.

Quoting Loved1234:

i think my post came off wrong- I know im basically "marrying" her too....and i love that idea of being a family! I cant cant wait! We get along great and ive been in her life for 3 years now... i was just talking about ONE night MY wedding night.. there has to be some balance for my wedding night? Can we share ANY intimate moments for this night... she will constantly want to be with him the entire night... idk maybe this is the wrong site for me..was just looking for proper etiquette for this type of sitaution..


deadlights86
by Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 8:51 PM
Will there be other kids there? Set up a kids table with coloring books crayons bead kits stuff like that she will be occupied. I didn't see my 3 boys all night between the dance floor and the kids table they had a ball.
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Loved1234
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 8:56 PM
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well im pretty sure that women think differently then men do..and i know my fiance is really excited but he doesnt think of it as i do.. and she IS being a part of the ceremony just not the entire thing... this is his second marriage my first... my whole life is dedicated to this little girl and i treat her as if she were my own (which is expected) but i thought for ONE night, a special night to me that there could be some boundaries...

Loved1234
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 8:58 PM

aw thats good! Glad they had a blast..yes there will be 2 other younger kids there (my neices) but she just loves us so much and wants to do everything we do..lol its cute  and like i said I love it..just worried it wont be intimate for us at all..i was really hoping for that

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