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Who decides?

Posted by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:42 PM
  • 46 Replies

Who decides in your situation when Mom and Dad disagree?

For divorced or separated parents, did the parent with veto power change after the separation?

Wife, Mother and Career Woman living in Jamaica

by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:51 PM
For my situation, it depends on what the issue is.

We changed our court order that medical, health, religion, over all well being is up to the parent with the parenting time.

I have exclusive rights to decision making on education and the residential home location I also have the exclusive right to receive and disperse child support payments.
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pdxmum
by Platinum Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 10:56 PM
As hard as it is to believe, and as much as I dislike BF, I don't think we have ever disagreed about DDs. Maybe about money, but that is indirectly about them and never really much of a fight. I might question his priorities, but it wasn't like I could force him to support an EC.

Same when we were married. As much as we fought, it was not about decisions with kids. Our basic parental ethics are and always were similar. Plus he hates making decisions and defers to me. And I am reasonable when it comes to them.

BM created conflict where there didn't need to be any. It has been awhile so maybe that too has changed. I have no idea how they made decisions when they were married.
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shanlee42
by Silver Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 11:34 PM
I think BD and BM argue over the stupidest crap sometimes. It's about 50/50 in regards to who wins. BM feels like she always has the last say regardless so compromising is difficult sometimes.
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Nursesummer
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 11:40 PM
I have the final decision about my kids. And so has the final decision about his dd
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angelmommy2806
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 11:41 PM
Dh does most of it since the boys live with us. On Bm's time she handles things.
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Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 11:45 PM

For SD non-urgent medical care and education are decided by both parents, if they can't agree then DH and BM go to mediation or court. However, for the last 10 months BM has just let DH do whatever he felt was best.

They were never together at any point after SD was born, so there was nothin to change when they split. 

For me, being the child of seperated parents, my mom had 100% total control over everything. My bio-father had no decision making rights, no vistiation rights, nothing, all by his own choice. 

Seychelles1409
by Silver Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 11:52 PM

I have full custody and my ex has visitaton so I have all rights when it comes to decisions---medical, education, legal, etc.

Mommyof5247
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:32 AM
DH has final say for SD & SS. I have final say for my kids if there are any disagreements between DH & I at home. But that is really rare because we usually agree.

DS & DD rarely see their dads & neither do I so there's no issue. I have pretty much always had final say. Even when I was married to XH.
Between DH & BM, DH has final say as CP. There hasn't been anything major that he's needed to consult BM about.
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faerie75
by Platinum Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:34 AM
The CO and then the cops. Thankfully it hasn't come to that in a few years.
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HaleyCovington
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 1:35 AM
2 moms liked this
That's what majority of the BMs think on here too. They are mom so they're vote counts twice!

Quoting shanlee42:

I think BD and BM argue over the stupidest crap sometimes. It's about 50/50 in regards to who wins. BM feels like she always has the last say regardless so compromising is difficult sometimes.
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