Hi Ladies.... let me just first thank you in advance for any advice or encouraging word you will give, and even if you don't have any advice to give thank you for taking the time to read this.
Well let me start by saying I'm 22 years old.i live in Houston, TX. I got married to an amazing man last June & i have a 5 year old stepdaughter. I have no kids of my own & and is having problems conceiving, been to the Dr. he said everything look fine and to give it some more time that was in October of last year. BUT ON TO THE REAL REASON I'M HERE.(SORRY IF THIS IS LONG!!)
My Step- daughter is being raised by her aunt who she refers to as mama, because her mom lost custody of her and her other children due to one of her children passing away and not passing a drug test at the time of the child's death.(very sad). well my husband didn't get custody because there was never a DNA test, and she told him he wasn't the dad, he never signed the birth-certificate. Well his ex allowed her aunt to take my stepdaughter out of spite due to me and him being together, signing over her rights and the aunt also signed and affidavit to take the child as she had no other blood relative, NEVER contacting my husband even when we reached out. A few months later we got a letter in the mail saying the aunt was filing for child support. the courts refused him a dna test without a lawyer. we could not afford a lawyer & NONE of his family would help us. not even his mother.My family did their best as they had just finish paying for our wedding. He loves his daughter no matter what always have and always will. so i say he is a great guy because he signed the cs order, telling the case worker she knows me as her daddy and no matter if im her dad or not she will always see me as a dead beat if im not there for her. Bought me to tears. i mean at the end of the day its just money. so he got a 2nd job to still be able to pay bills and child support. So now we get the 1st and 3rd weekends only by the aunts graces not the courts because they never stated visitation in the cs order. Meaning she can stop letting her come at any time. but so far she has been nice, and we all been getting along.
YET.... i find myself every sad and hurt at times because my stepdaughter calls her aunt "mama" and my husband daddy, i dont think anyone in our situation understands how it feels to be in your first marriage together but have an outside child and not be able to have a child if your own. i feel alone. Me and my stepdaughter get along, but i play the bad cop all the time because my husband is always at work. i love her i really do. but i feel so bad at times that sometimes i end up crying. is this normal? am i being selfish? is there anyone that can relate? i treat her with nothing but love all the time. help me?