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SD help? Self induced vomiting for manipulation?

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:30 PM
  • 62 Replies

I don't know what's going on.

Saturday morning SD(5) said she felt sick and didn't want to eat her breakfast. DH made her eat a few bites then moments later she puked. Since then she will seem fine until its time to eat. She'll eat a bite and then complain that she's so full that her tummy hurts. Over the weekend for all lunches and dinners she would be hungry but then when she saw what we were having she would start crying and say she wasn't hungry. DH would make her eat and then within an hour she throws it all up.

Tonight was no different. DH even allowed her to only eat half of what she was given. After 45 min of fighting her to eat I asked her to lay down for a bit and then I would start her bath. Within 5 mins she up and in the bathroom throwing up. Then right after was like "it's not in my stomach anymore so now I can eat something else"

She claims she "ate all her food" at school today but I don't know. They serve "family style" and the kids are allowed to serve themselves. I told DH to ask the teachers to watch her tomorrow to see how much she's actually eating.

She has no fever and is not diarrheal. She ONLY complains right before eating. I wonder if she is doing it to get out of eating or something else? She'll start making gagging noises and faces at the table and becomes *very* dramatic. 

Last night she opted to go to bed early instead of eating.

Has anyone else had a child that did anything like this? What did you do? 

I don't want to feed into this if it's just an attempt at getting her way. Normally I would give her some tea and some toast or crackers but that's what she'd want over eating what's made for dinner.

I will take her to the doctors depending on what her teachers say tomorrow about her eating habits at school. 

by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
twinklebites
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:50 PM

All I am thinking is a control issue... Anything change in her life ? at 5 you can only control so much I would take her to the DR. just to be safe, if my two tried this I would continue to serve dinner they eat it or they don't ,some might find that harsh but I don't be live it would be for my two. DH and you now her better Good luck!

FoodIsLife
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:52 PM

Nothing new has changed in the past 4 months. 


Quoting twinklebites:

All I am thinking is a control issue... Anything change in her life ? at 5 you can only control so much I would take her to the DR. just to be safe, if my two tried this I would continue to serve dinner they eat it or they don't ,some might find that harsh but I don't be live it would be for my two. DH and you now her better Good luck!



Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:53 PM

What happens at BM's house?  School?

Is she otherwise in good weight and good health?


FoodIsLife
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:57 PM

BM is away, she hasn't seen her in almost 6 months and she only speaks to her about once a week for 2 mins. I would almost guess this would be an issue but this seems to not even phase her. She believes she'll be coming back eventually and never speaks about it. I try to get her to open up in hopes to make sure she'sokay but she quickly changes the subject to something she actually wants to talk about.

School is great. She loves going and is always excited to go and loves to talk about her teachers and friends.

Average height and on the light side but still within range.


Quoting Birdseed:

What happens at BM's house?  School?

Is she otherwise in good weight and good health?




Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:05 PM
1 mom liked this

I do apologize, I can't recall all of the history.  Is she in counseling? If she's not, she should be.  If she is, what does the counselor say?

All else being equal, I think she's looking for attention and I wouldn't give it to her.  If she doesn't want to eat dinner or starts doing the gagging thing and you guys have ruled out medical issues, then send her to her room. Done.  No more attention for that.

But it seems to me like she's really looking for attention.


FoodIsLife
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:10 PM


That's alright, I'm happy to fill in.

No she is not. DH has to have BMs permission (and vice versa), she agreed but then when we brought her papers to sign she refused.

Thank you for your input and I think you are right. I'm just trying to see if anyone else is seeing something we're not. DH initally sent her to her room right away but then told her to take her bath first and that was a whole other tamtrum about wanting to just go to bed (she sounded very anrgy with her arms crossed)

Quoting Birdseed:

I do apologize, I can't recall all of the history.  Is she in counseling? If she's not, she should be.  If she is, what does the counselor say?

All else being equal, I think she's looking for attention and I wouldn't give it to her.  If she doesn't want to eat dinner or starts doing the gagging thing and you guys have ruled out medical issues, then send her to her room. Done.  No more attention for that.

But it seems to me like she's really looking for attention.




Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:15 PM

If BM hasn't seen her in 6mos, then what is really preventing you guys from taking her to a counselor?

At least the school counselor?

This isn't normal. But it does seem like she's not adjusting well and is seeking attention and control over her situation with this food thing.  In the back of my mind, what worries me is that it could turn into a bulemia or anorexia thing if left unchecked.  I'm not a counselor though.  Those are just my concerns.

FoodIsLife
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:27 PM

BM is away "bettering her life" right now, the courts know it which is why DH has custody right now. When she comes back will be a whole other thing. ::sigh::

She's in Preschool right now so no school counselor. She has off the record spoken with my aunt whom is a psychotherapist and communication consultant mainly for children and adolescences. She explained to us that everything seems normal EXCEPT how clingy she is to DH and that it's very noticeable right away and she labeled it as "Extreme" and as walking through stories with her she has a mind set for her father being the protector and person who saves her "from her mother"...Apparently everything children say means something specific. Trees= fathers Queens=mothers Princess=self... stuff like that.

OMG yes! DH said it yesterday, that he was worried she'd become anorexic over time if she continued and I had the same concern for bulimia, that she would see it as a way on consoling herself. I will talk to him about it and see what we can do about counseling, thank you.

Quoting Birdseed:

If BM hasn't seen her in 6mos, then what is really preventing you guys from taking her to a counselor?

At least the school counselor?

This isn't normal. But it does seem like she's not adjusting well and is seeking attention and control over her situation with this food thing.  In the back of my mind, what worries me is that it could turn into a bulemia or anorexia thing if left unchecked.  I'm not a counselor though.  Those are just my concerns.



PinkButterfly66
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:31 PM
1 mom liked this

There's this guy that my husband used to work with, his little girl wouldn't eat either.  The pedi said it was a control issue.  Turns out her intestines had folded inside each other.  I would take her to a pedi gastro-enterologist and be checked out. She ended up in the hospital and almost died.  Insussecption is what it is called.

Does she complain of stomach pain?  

Tigress22304
by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:39 PM

SS6 does this. BM just spanks his ass and makes him eat whatever it is she cooked and if he does it again-he goes without until the next meal.

And the whole "its not in my stomach, i can eat something else now" routine doesn't get far with me. He knows I'll put his ass to bed with ginger ale and some crackers.

If he's sick enough to puke, he's sick enough to stay to his bed.

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