SO NERVOUS... this may be a long one! *UPDATE* - ANOTHER UPDATE* (Blue)
So BM will be notified today that my SO is taking her back to court to Modify his parenting time. I am so nervous based on the details of the motion and what it says...she is going to be so angry...and she can be so nasty when she is.
A little back story.... My SO's CO is every other weekends and Tues and Thurs until 8:30pm. Last summer (june/july) my SS5 really started to become hysterical everytime we had to take him home. He would hold onto my SO's leg, tell his mom he hated it there, tell her he didnt want to be there etc. to the point that my SO and I left in tears from dropping them off because it was tough seeing him so upset. Not to mention, it raised some red flags to us as to why all of the sudden he seemed to have such an issue with going home.(anyone who has seen some of my other posts know that there are some issues etc but thats another story) So for July and August we started keeping the kids overnight on Tuesdays. (at the time my SO was only taking them on Tuesdays as he overpay's in CS due to the amount of overtime(800hrs) he worked the year they used to to asses what his CS would be. because of that he needed to work overtime on thrusdays in order to make enough money to cover his bills). Once school started, we went back to regular Tuesday visitation. In October we moved back to the town the kids and BM live in (basically right down the street from each other) but we wanted to be closer to the kids...so it had been SO's plan all along to move back to that town. Since October the kids have stayed almost EVERY Tuesday...some Thursdays (they cut overtime at work all togther so my SO takes the kids on Thursdays now that he is able) and even Sunday nights on our weekends. In October my SO told BM that he was not going to keep dropping of SS5 when he was upset like that...and she said she thought he just missed him. My SO suggested taking them more often and she agreed but told him he could take them whenever he wanted as long as it wasnt overnight because she needed to "cover her butt" and couldnt have trying to get lower support. The problem is...if we take them everyday...great...however the problem was taking him back so it didnt make much sense. My SO said it was about the kids and making them happy...BM agreed but again said she could have him lowering his support. Just a little side note...out of 31 days in october...we had the kids 21 of them. In November we had them 17 days out of the month etc. My SO again tried to come to an agreement with her about a month ago...since we've already been living this schedule for months...but she refused to formalize between the two of them for fear that her child support will be reduced. So my SO met with a lawyer last week. We have every additional day and overnight they spent with us documented and supported with text messages of her complying. My SO started a motion to modify his parent time. He is not asking for anything more than what we've already been doing since basically July. He's just asking for it to be formalized so the kids dont have to guess from week to week on whether or not they're allowed to stay. We are at her discretion all the time and the CO's but it should be about what makes the kids happy...not about how it will affect her pocket in the long run. and if we have them basically HALF of the time...it really isnt fair to SO. (the last 3 weekends that were her weekends, the kids were at our house.)
She will get the paperwork today and I am so nervous because I know she is going to be angry. But my SO did try to come to an agreement with her outside of Court on multiple occassions and she just wouldnt do it. So he had to do what he had to from the kids and for himself. I'm afraid she will no longer let them stay during the week now, no matter how much SS5 cries and begs her because shes going to be angry. The lawyer said if she does...this will affect her negatively as they hate to see people use their children as pawns or for revenge or to spite the other parent. Everytime i think about her getting the papers I get a little nervous feeling and a little nausea.. it passes...but i guess i cant help my nerves. YIKES!
UPDATE: SO finally goes to court for this next Friday. I cannot wait until it's all over. Too much stress! She hasn't allowed SO to have any additional time with the kids since she's received the motion. She even said to SO during a phone call in which he called to ask if they could stay over cuz they asked to...that "maybe if *YSS* Dad didnt want to take his Mom to court every minute then he could stay, but since he does, he cant" which was recorded and submitted to the court. She wouldnt allow them to attend SO's nephews birthday party either. It was during her weekend which has NEVER ever been an issue...she claimed she had plans with them, SS14 told us they did nothing. They were both bummed they couldnt make it. 1 more week. Fingers crossed for us!
SO recieved the "tenative" decision from the judge today. He and his lawyer are not happy as the judge is making them go to mediation. SO has already tried on three different occasions to come to an agreement with BM. As I have stated before, her only objection is child support reduction, so she continues to refuse. If nothing comes out of mediation they will need to pay a CNA to determine. Which is probably what is going to happen. SO's lawyer feels the judge was being extrememely lazy and just passed this off to someone else instead of making a decision on his own. It's going to take more time and money, but we will get there I suppose. I just feel awful for SO and the kids though because since she was served in April...she has not allowed any additional time with the kids. The kids and SO are used to seeing each other more than 50% of the time...and for the past month it's been far less. I'm hoping for their sake they can do mediation/CNA asap!