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mother of the freakin decade!

Posted by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 4:19 AM
  • 34 Replies

so this weekend is dh's weekend to get ss. he hasn't been able to since right after christmas because mom goes against court order and sends him to her mom's so dh can't get him. he's been trying to call ss for the last week and a half, but can't get him in the phone. so he called ss's mom tonight (ss has his own phone) and demanded to speak with his son, so she gave him their house number because she was at work. so dh called. he had just gotten home from work and was getting settled in the bedroom and i was sitting on the bed and he had his phone on speaker phone, while I stayed quiet out of respect.

so dh says "we all miss you ___" ss: "I miss you guys too, so much". dh: "this is my weekend to come get you, are you going to come over?" (he asks this because mom says it's up to ss.... if he wants too.... even though it's really never up to him) ss: "I want to but mom won't let me. she says i'm not allowed" dh: "Well I will take care of that, ok buddy? I love you" ss "Ok daddy. I love you too. tell my brothers and sister I said hey". 

We have suspected this all along, but ss has never come out and said it until now. I thought dh was going to turn into the incredible hulk! I wanted to cry because I felt so bad for ss. 

What the hell kind of mom does that kind of crap and keeps the child away from dad out of spite!?!?! GRRRR.... seriously, I would love to give her a high five.... to her face.... with a chair! 

by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 4:19 AM
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Replies (1-10):
WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 7:22 AM

Karma will get her.  It got BM and SS's now live with us.

At least you get warning.  DH used to go to BM's house and then be told he isn't getting the kids.  He could usually hear them inside the house freaking out that they want to go.

twinklebites
by Silver Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 7:53 AM

 What kind of #$%%^  can listen to their children freaking out because they want Dad and still look at themselves in the mirror ??? Boggles the (non-batshit crazy) mind!

 

Quoting WifeyC:

Karma will get her.  It got BM and SS's now live with us.

At least you get warning.  DH used to go to BM's house and then be told he isn't getting the kids.  He could usually hear them inside the house freaking out that they want to go.

 

 

ramita
by Silver Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:22 AM
1 mom liked this
My SS's BM was very much like this except there was no custody agreement. Some women just put themselves before their kids and I'll never understand it.
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dawncs
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:28 AM
1 mom liked this

His ex does not realize what it is a blessing to have an ex who cares about their child and wants to be a part of his life. There are thousands of single mothers out there who's ex does not even want to or care about spending time with their child. Either they will spending every now and then or skip out entirely. You might want him to bring it up to his ex in a future conversation. She really does not realize that he might resent it one day when he is older that she kept his father from him, and she might really miss some of the fun times you get to enjoy when a child is grown up because of it.

Dawn


Group owner of Different Learners Support Group (http://www.cafemom.com/group/118648)

lnr187
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:36 AM
1 mom liked this

 dh should file a contempt of court! how old is ss?

SnapIt
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:49 AM
Horrible putting kids in the middle like that

Only a narcissistic person would do something like this
Its like a competition. Most of the time they do this because they see the ex moving on with their lives.
She will stay stuck in her misery
In time ss will see her true colors and she will hang herself

My SO from time to time goes theough this with the kids
Lil by lil they are seeing what she is doing. Its been 3 yrs since they had started the divorce and she still tries to brainwash them to go against him. They are 3 yrs older now and the divorce has been finalized for awhile now and he is moving on with his life and she keeps trying, but now the kids are making decisions more on their own and see right through her more and more each day. The older on is already disgusted by her mother. This wked they asked to move in with him, because they see the difference.

In time those kind of actions backfire
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BioNerd
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 9:18 AM

Oh dear. That does not sound like a very good situation at all. Has DH considered filing contempt? 

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 10:08 AM
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A lot of moms do that, unfortunately.  At least your DH knows where his son is.  Has he filed contempt yet?

I had previously posted a question on abduction after listening to the story of an acquaintance whose ex ran with the kids and even had them adopted by one of her subsequent husbands.  He had searched for years and even hired a PI, yet never saw his kids again until they were grown, at which point his adult son tracked him down.  He's very close to both his kids now, though they have long since cut ties with their mother.  WIKN suggested I'd be shocked to see how often this happens, so I did a little Googling.  Per an FBI article I found on the subject, there is rarely any domestic violence or abuse involved between exes; it's about control in the majority of cases.  One parent doesn't want the other parent involved, so they bolt.

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 11:07 AM
3 moms liked this

That is heart breaking.

Your DH needs to file with the court.  The sooner the better.  The longer this goes without filing the more it *could* look like DH doesn't care.  He might start with a strongly worded letter from his attorney, but personally, I'd skip that and just file for contempt.  

Seriously, that blows. 

  

aeELE
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 11:29 AM
I agree. Getting the courts involved might feel harsh or foreign, but in the end the court's is the only opinion that matters. Get them on your side as early as you can.
My heart goes out to you and your family.


Quoting Birdseed:

That is heart breaking.

Your DH needs to file with the court.  The sooner the better.  The longer this goes without filing the more it *could* look like DH doesn't care.  He might start with a strongly worded letter from his attorney, but personally, I'd skip that and just file for contempt.  

Seriously, that blows. 

  


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