I asked her what was mean. Asking you to clean up yourthings? Eat your dinner? Use manners? Not hit or be mean to your bbrothers? Not scream and yell? Answer when spoken to? Bm says those are all things she asks of her and she didn't see how that was mean. She also said,"I told you that sm is your parent as well. You are supposed to listen to her and respect her. She takes my role when your dad is at work and you are there."
SD then proceeded to tell them that I pulled her pants down and beat her with a belt. That was a total lie. I have not spanked any of the kids with a belt. My hand, but only when necessary. I told bm that even though she told me to spank her and I had awhile back with my hand, it did no good and I was uncomfortable doing so. She said she pulls out the paddle. I said you are her mom. SD has threatened me and told too many lies about us beating her or not feeding her and I refused to spank her.
SD got smart with bm. Bm corrected her. SD cried and said see you are mean as well.
I am just at a loss. I am not her mom, nor have I ever tried to take over that role. But now that SD has actually said what she feels, what do we do now? What do I do now? Therapist made her promise she would behave but none of us believed she will. I told SD she didn't have that "you're not my parent" attitude when I was doing something fun with her or doing something fun for her. My mom says just keep doing what you are doing. Well that isnt working. Hasn't been working. Why should I keep being nice and doing things for her and with her when I get screamed at, disrespected and lied about? Suggestions?