My H has a wierd visitation schedual and it is coming that time of year were SD will be here for 2 and 1/2 months for the summer. Every year at this time it get stressed out and this year is worse due to my H and I going threw our first IVF cycle.
BM and I have a bad history as in every thing i say or do is wrong and "I am out to piss her off" I have tryed talking to her, working with her, and so on and so forth and have came up always the bad guy. So for this summers visit I need to do something different. In the past since I am a stay at home mom I care for SD while my husband works 12 hrs a day. BM knows his work schedual and always calls, text blows up my phone all day long when she knows it is just SD and I. I have in the past always catered to her because I have not had to share my son with anyone so I'm sure it is hard on her to have her most of the time and than gone for so long at once. It is very hard on me I will be going threw our day doing what every were doing and than the phone rings and I am expected to drop everything so SD can "talk" to her BM. She is only 4 so talking on the phone is not really what happens. I feel its calling to disrupt our day because she knows that she can and schould call when DH is home. I would send her pictures almost daily also and keep her updated on what was going on.
Last summer BM and I talked about how when SD is with her she refuses to let SD call us, does not send pics, does not respond to text when it pertains SD basicly pretends that we do not exsist except for Sunday after noon when my husband can call SD or when she wants something or needs something from DH. She said she seen that I go out of my way to help her get threw the seperation with her daughter. Once SD went back to BM same thing no calls no text no pics.
So I need help! I spent last summer trying to make sure my son was handeling her okay, that my husband was happy, that BM was happy, and SD was happy and felt at home. I can't do that this summer. Is it wrong to make her use only my husbands phone. To only call on the appointed day that she has set for DH, to set the same standards for her as she has set for him?? We have been married and together for all her life and I have made my mistakes as a new step mom at the time and have tryed without success to help BM get threw her time away from her daughter. How can i be strong enough to ignor her calls and text and not deal with BM this summer. I cant continue to play her games but do not want to make things worse. I in a way want to show her what she does to my husband by the way she acts by treating her the same way. But most importantly If you can not respect me enough after over 5 yrs to respond to a text or send a pic why do i feel like i HAVE to? What do i do?