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bm2 has officially popped out one too many kids

Posted by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:35 AM
  • 47 Replies

she has 4. they are between 2 months and 5 years. all different dad's. dh is the legal father of her oldest, bio of her second, and she popped out one right before me and dh got together and just had another one that is 2 months old.

well, long story short, she's been couch jumping, the only reason dh and i haven't taken her to court for ss is, in our state, the mom has to be on the streets or on drugs before even temp custody can be removed.........it's HARD. well, she recently volunteered primary custody up. she sent ss to live with us (gave us days to prepare). 2 of her other kids are with her sister, and one is with her. She left with the baby, but i guess dad and family threw a big enough legal fit that bm took the baby back and is staying there again (but they are still not "together") Well, her "xmil" for lack of better term has been watching ss. bm is unemployed, we can't afford day care on him, so we asked bm to help out since she doesn't do anything anyways. well, what she MEANT is her "xmil" could watch him because SHE is sleeping all day, etc. they told dh before that he can just drop ss off at the house without walking him to the door. bs! (apparently they don't lock the door at night). Well, i told dh, for ss that's a bad idea cause WE don't know if anyone is awake if we just let him walk in...yeah we passed that up.

so here is what happened yesterday (the reason for the post). anything that is needed outside the home (dealing with finding babysitter, getting legal papers, talking to bm) i let him handle. He takes ss to babysitter, and picks him up, etc. the mil came out, and asked dh to talk to him for a second (so he does). in short, she asks him his side of what happened to him and bm. without going into detail (not knowing if this could come up to bite me or dh) he tells her things that she replies with "that sounds all too familiar, and she does that here too".

then not to mention. i'm bout ready to give bm a piece of my mind. dh said she has been hitting on him left and right (knowing he's married-which obviously doesn't mean a thing to her). what i mean by that is she "play hits him" gives him looks, etc which yeah i can see her doing, because (seeing as she has 4 different dad's) she jumps from one disco stick to the next.

not to mention AFTER (not that i would've been ok with this) but after dh gets home with ss-she was asleep when he picked her up. she texts him "can you come back and take me to the er?" he told her "no i did that for 3 years, i'm not doing it again and needs wouldn't be too happy with that. if your problem is that bad-call 911"

i'm ready to get on facebook and message her (only access) telling her i understand they need to keep in contact for ss's sake, but that's it. leave my husband alone! dh told me if she does it again, go for it.

or hell *I* will start taking ss and picking him up. remove him from the scene all together (so bm can't get him "alone")

by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MommySabs
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:44 AM
Walk away from the computer no good can come from it!!!
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needsupport100
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:46 AM

 


Quoting MommySabs:

Walk away from the computer no good can come from it!!!

i'm usually pretty good about keeping my nose out of other people's business. bm is not on my facebook, nor will she be. it would be something i would tell her then block her idk but i know she's pulling stuff she wouldn't necessarily do if i was there.

 

PumpkinSpice8
by Silver Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:48 AM
1 mom liked this
I would advise not to email her. It'll cause more problems than its worth. She'll probably get some joy from your defensiveness or view it as an insecurity in your and DHs relationship. The best way to get her to stop is by your DH telling her to stop.

But I understand that would be annoying!! :(
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pepper504
by Platinum Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:51 AM
4 moms liked this

Hon, I know that your first instinct is to fight for your man, but honestly, he sounds like he has it covered.  BM is making herself out to look more like an ass than anything.  Sending/telling BM ANYTHING is going to be a waste of time.  She's begging for attention and ANY attention will do.  Your DH handled it perfectly. :)

If you tell the truth, nothing can come back and bite you on the ass.  Remember that.  :)

Mommyof5247
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:51 AM
What a mess!
Your DH should handle the horny hopper.
She sounds like a very sad case always in need of attention. You telling her to leave DH alone may not even get through her head.

Why would she need to go to ER & not ask the MIL she lives with?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
MommySabs
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:54 AM
2 moms liked this
It may end up being a poking the bear situation though. A challenge bc she knows she is getting to you. Bm has at times over the years tried similar crap ( more blatant like calling dh and saying I'll come home blah blah blah or calling him behid her Boyf back and offering to have sex with him). I was there he let me know it happened and we went about our business after having a good laugh and I never let her know bc if she knew I was even so much as irritated by it she would have pushed harder.


Quoting needsupport100:

 





Quoting MommySabs:

Walk away from the computer no good can come from it!!!


i'm usually pretty good about keeping my nose out of other people's business. bm is not on my facebook, nor will she be. it would be something i would tell her then block her idk but i know she's pulling stuff she wouldn't necessarily do if i was there.


 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
needsupport100
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:55 AM

 


Quoting Mommyof5247:

What a mess!
Your DH should handle the horny hopper.
She sounds like a very sad case always in need of attention. You telling her to leave DH alone may not even get through her head.

Why would she need to go to ER & not ask the MIL she lives with? because no one else will, she's a hyprocondriact. all they will do (and xbf and xmil that she lives with has experienced this) the doctors will just rx her another pain med (because she's a pill popper) pat her on the back and send her on her way. when her and dh were together, he took her to the er a few times a week. then when the weekend rolled around, she was out drinking and partying leaving him home with the kids.

 


 

sandeeyo
by Le Bonjour Chat on Apr. 18, 2013 at 9:59 AM
1 mom liked this

THIS!


Quoting pepper504:

Hon, I know that your first instinct is to fight for your man, but honestly, he sounds like he has it covered.  BM is making herself out to look more like an ass than anything.  Sending/telling BM ANYTHING is going to be a waste of time.  She's begging for attention and ANY attention will do.  Your DH handled it perfectly. :)

If you tell the truth, nothing can come back and bite you on the ass.  Remember that.  :)

OMG, if you listen to this, you'll probably be a lot happier in the long run.

Unless, that is, you're one of those people that thrives on drama.  Then go right ahead.  Not saying you are, just that if you were, you wouldn't listen to this advice anyway! lol


Tillymommie
by Silver Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:26 AM


Quoting sandeeyo:

THIS!


Quoting pepper504:

Hon, I know that your first instinct is to fight for your man, but honestly, he sounds like he has it covered.  BM is making herself out to look more like an ass than anything.  Sending/telling BM ANYTHING is going to be a waste of time.  She's begging for attention and ANY attention will do.  Your DH handled it perfectly. :)

If you tell the truth, nothing can come back and bite you on the ass.  Remember that.  :)

OMG, if you listen to this, you'll probably be a lot happier in the long run.

Unless, that is, you're one of those people that thrives on drama.  Then go right ahead.  Not saying you are, just that if you were, you wouldn't listen to this advice anyway! lol


THIS^^^^ I had Bm trying this shit while I was pregnant. She would try to discuss old sex stories with DH. Just let him handle it and ignore, ignore, ignore.

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children. Do you understand? ~The Crow

Derdriu
by Gold Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:34 AM

Why waste your time?  And why is your DH even telling you about it?  These are things he needs to be handling, and it sounds like he's perfectly capable of handing them.  Obviously, the only thing including you has accomplished is get you worked up and ready to go for her throat.  You don't need that drama and stress.  Odds are if you do jump in, the situation will only escalate, she'll get more (not less) persistant because it's become a game, and a cycle of drama will take over. 

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