My ex husband is one of those guys who is involved as little as possible, I have friends whose fathers were never even in their lives SO what my husband's going through really makes me ANGRY!!
When DH's ex left him for another man she made him take both of her kids (one his, one was someone elses!) She visited once a week. This went on for close to a year, when we started dating. She flipped out, jealous, and took both kids. She told him he would never see either one again until we broke up. Eventually she got sick of having them and within a month she was calling for him to take his daughter. He filed for joint custody. Trying to be civil he wrote in the court papers that his daughter needed both parents and how good of a mom bm is (lie). She responded by filing custody papers saying he has never been part of their daughter's life(lie), he cant hold a job(BEEN AT THE SAME JOB FOR YEARS) and he should only see her eowe. of course the judge sided with her. Another year past and even though she requested eowe we have had her every weekend, a lot of times weeks at a time. we are paying for her to go to our daycare half the time and mom is around when she wants to be.....but decided she needed more child support. even though we have proof from our daycare bills how much we really have her, bm told the child support office dh has her only 12% they sided with her. My husband will now only bring home $700 A MONTH!!!! The rest of his checks will go to child support. When he tried to fight it stating its an absurd amount to pay and he can't pay bills they said "that doesn't matter, your ex is on daycare assistance, cash assistance, food stamps and medical assistance so you need to cover what your daughter is getting from the state." Make sense?!?! So we give more money to someone already on assistance, now we cant pay our bills but we still dont qualify for any assistance?? Oh theres more!! SD told us and her peditrician that she is being molested by mom's boyfriend. We turn it in, the investigator on the case accuses us of "using sd to fight with the ex" and "making up stories to cause drama". the boyfriend moved 3 hours away and skipped out on his interview. doesnt that make him look guilty? instead of finding him the case was dropped and we were accused of lying. because bm was angry her boyfriend moved away she made false allegations on my husband and placed a restraining order on him. we have text messages from her that state she is angry with him and is going to falsely accuse him of harrassment because he "made her lose her boyfriend" BUT if we want to fight the court order for protection we must pay over $300 even though she lied on a notorized document and we have proof of that. In the order it states she requests supervised child exchanges and he can only see her every other weekend. within days of filing the restraining order bm dropped sd off at my sil's house and said "she misses her dad." She never gave instructions when to have her home or how and my dh isn't allowed to contact her. AWESOME MOM HUH. When dh contacted to courthouse to ask how to handle the situation, they told him they couldn't answer his questions and if he has a problem he needs to pay the $300 to fight the restraining order. Basically treated him like a criminal. Thanks to this restraining order and increase in child support we can no longer afford the lawyer and he already told us to not even continue our case for more custody because he felt the courts will continue to side with bm.
The right to be treated like a deadbeat no matter how hard you try. The right to never get ahead financially. The right to watch your daughter go through hell and no one cares because of MOTHER'S RIGHTS.
What about children's rights??