Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Bm's parents showed up 6 yrs later unannounced *update*

Posted by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 10:05 PM
  • 11 Replies
Ugh! Bm's parents showed up at my door at 9am. They have not seen or called the kids for SIX years! That's when they visited the children while bm had kidnapped them..
Luckly my dh has kept pics of thier other side of the family so I knew who they were. The kids and I were home alone. Dh works sat. They knew this because bm told them I'm sure.
I was so freaked out. We have court on monday with bm. And all of a sudden they show up.. asking me to "kidnapp" them for the day to spoil the kids. I almost died when they said that. I called dh he's freakin I'm freakin but I held my cool. I lied like I've never lied (I haven't lied a true lie in years I hate lying. But I did today infront of the kids and all. My gut was screaming do not let them leave this house!
So I didn't. I have the support from ALL of dh family. Bm cost my dh 35k in court and travel alone to get these kids back
They were abused so bad they still have scars from the now Sf. I'm mostly venting but honestly.. do you guys think its worth going to court and getting added to the custody papers g-parents must atleast give a warning of coming?
I'm terrified! Sposely they are leaving monday
.. on our court day. They live in new mexico. In a way I feel bad but we did offer meeting them sunday suppervised.they are saying they will be soo busy with visiting other people.
I also caught them in a lie. Gma said she hasn't spoke bm forever. Yet she knew we had court? Bm only got notice 2 weeks ago and I'm sure she's madder than mad. We are changing visitation.. currently we spose to pay half her travel and half hotel. Last yr she made sure to cost us a bundle because nothing is in the papers for a limit of cost and she hates us. So she flew .. she bought the ticket 2 days before and stayed at the hilton.. but now she's married. We are changing it to half of a bus ticket and nothing else. She doesnt pay cs or buy anything for the kids ever.

Well so far so good. Dh had a extended family picnic on sunday. Bm gparents did not get to take the kuds anywhere.
Got out of court today. We have trail july 1st. She's fighting it even tho she's not going to win. The judge was not happy. She didn't file her responce she claimed ignorance. Which she knew darn well she had to. She tried to get dh throw in jail for contempt for not filing the response last court battle. she filled it lol.. which again made the judge SO mad. We have the same judge this time. The judge said she will have to pay her travel to court and even possiably visitaion because the court date is during her time. Bm panics and says but I want to do it today! Judge says we would have but you didn't respond ypur fault. Bm boo hoos she doesn't know how to do it all. Well she had no problem sueing us for 55 dollars last yr lol.
Dh is going for no visits since all she is doing is making the kids upset. She calls the most every 2 months for 5 mins top. She doesn't even call on holidays or thier birthdays. So all is well so far. Whew
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 10:05 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
ramita
by Silver Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 10:26 PM
I think y'all should definitely talk to the lawyer, but I'm not sure there's anything a custody order could do. Maybe a restraining order but y'all would have to have proof of them harming or actually trying to kidnap or threatening to kidnap them.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Tpayne2011
by Bronze Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 10:35 PM
1 mom liked this
Why are you guys paying half of anything for her? Why can't she pay to travel? It's her child too isn't it?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 10:38 PM
2 moms liked this
I don't think you even need it in a court order about the grandparents. Grandparents don't have rights to children so whether they show up or not doesn't matter. It's up to the parent to decide whether they go or not. If they didn't want the visit you offered tomorrow then it was apparently not very important to them.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
shanlee42
by Silver Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 11:19 PM
2 moms liked this
I would politely ask them to give you guys a heads up next time since weekends ca be busy for the family.

I definitely don't think you guys should be paying for half of her plane ticket and hotel. That's insane since she doesn't support the kids any other way.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 11:29 PM
I feel for you. When I was a kid, my brother was kidnapped by my grandparents. They lived in a small town where my Grandpa was the retired sheriff and my bio dad was a deputy. Even though my mom had custody (full custody) the sheriffs office would do nothing. It took her a year and kidnapping him herself to get him back. Of course it wasn't kidnapping bc she had custody but she had to take him while he was outside playing and get back to Dallas before they caught up to her. Then she had to go down and file a protective order against them. We missed out on several years with my grandparents but my mom couldn't take the chance of that happening again. It was horrifying for her.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
wickedstepjenn
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 12:13 AM
I wasn't in the picture when the orginal visits were set up or I would have fight over that. Its been modfied 5 times in 6 yrs. First time they were going to let her have them for the whole summer.. I would have been in troubke because I couldn't do that. Bm is on ssi and she has 2 more children after divorce by another man. I guess the court felt bad for her? At first they ordered dh to pay her cs every month when he has full custody! They hadn't even divorced yet. This county is odd.
I felt SO powerless! But I am stubborn and made my own power today and I will again if I must. I'd die for my kids birth and step. The things bm and sf did to them was so horrible I don't know how she gets visits at all. Our new lawyer said it would be hard to prove now but darn it they are so scares of her and sf. It kills me every yr.
I told dh jusr to tell them to get bent. They got aggressive with me when I refused at first. I had my finger on 911 I just hope this stops by monday or I'm going to need more than calming tea!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
wickedstepjenn
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 3:16 AM
1 mom liked this
I have asked this and also after such abuse and sf refuses a back ground check why and visits at all? All I get is dh is "lucky" he got custody of both kids. Pshshha! I say. Dh is als o going for cs on monday. I think that's why the bm parents are trying to snatch my kids.


Quoting Tpayne2011:

Why are you guys paying half of anything for her? Why can't she pay to travel? It's her child too isn't it?

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
wickedstepjenn
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 3:21 AM
Yes that's what the lawyer said. Its so fustrating but I understand they can't go by the past and my detective work and gut feeling. I'm sticking to my guns. They would have to pry the kids out of my dead cold arms... they called this evening and were talking to dh. He said he doesn't trust them one bit either. Thank goodness he has the next 2 days off.


Quoting ramita:

I think y'all should definitely talk to the lawyer, but I'm not sure there's anything a custody order could do. Maybe a restraining order but y'all would have to have proof of them harming or actually trying to kidnap or threatening to kidnap them.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
wickedstepjenn
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 3:23 AM
1 mom liked this
That's so sad. I'm sorry you all had to live threw that. I also wad kidnapped at 2 my dad took me. Luckly my grandpa was in the military. He had connections and I was saved. I was very lucky.


Quoting momof2ex1:

I feel for you. When I was a kid, my brother was kidnapped by my grandparents. They lived in a small town where my Grandpa was the retired sheriff and my bio dad was a deputy. Even though my mom had custody (full custody) the sheriffs office would do nothing. It took her a year and kidnapping him herself to get him back. Of course it wasn't kidnapping bc she had custody but she had to take him while he was outside playing and get back to Dallas before they caught up to her. Then she had to go down and file a protective order against them. We missed out on several years with my grandparents but my mom couldn't take the chance of that happening again. It was horrifying for her.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
lnr187
by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 7:06 PM

 i highly doubt you can get anything in writing about the grandparents, but i'd just continue to say no if they show up unannounced. you were right to not send the kids with them. why are you paying bm travel expenses? she doesn't even pay cs! how often does she see them?

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured