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how do you deal with this

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 6:26 PM
  • 13 Replies

After the boys go see their mother in jail the next time i see them they are distante and the oldest is even kinda hurtful i know that the situation confuses them because they are so little. but it hurts to start over every month...plus mom is using them to get to their dad and really really confusing them. how do you deal with and how can i make it easier for me and them.

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 6:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 7:09 PM

Maybe they are just sad because they miss their mom. I'm sure it must be hard for them. 

WifeyC
by Platinum Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 7:15 PM
1 mom liked this

Take them to a counselor right after they see Mom.  It will help them work through their issues.

MommySabs
by Gold Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 7:35 PM
1 mom liked this
I think this is an excellent suggestion.


Quoting WifeyC:

Take them to a counselor right after they see Mom.  It will help them work through their issues.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2013 at 8:08 PM

let dad handle it 

shanlee42
by Silver Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 11:31 PM
Taking them to a counselor is a great idea. They are trying to deal with things internally and probably need a neutral person to talk to.

Quoting MommySabs:

I think this is an excellent suggestion.




Quoting WifeyC:

Take them to a counselor right after they see Mom.  It will help them work through their issues.


MrsMama030912
by Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 11:47 PM
I wouldn't ask any questions and don't expect them to go back to normal routine. Give them some space. I can imagine that whole situation is tough on them. I know my SD has a rough time with not seeing her mother much and she's not in jail (just too selfish) don't take it too personally either. Their children and they can't compartmentalize the way we can. Just give them lots of love and patience. What's the saying, those who are the most unlovable need the most love ?
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CD_Eaton
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 9:20 AM

 I will suggest this they already see one. but up till now no one has paied attention to how seeing her affects them. and i think now that i around it makes it worse just because mommy not with daddy and he isnt waiting for her you know


Quoting WifeyC:

Take them to a counselor right after they see Mom.  It will help them work through their issues.


 

mz_erica03
by Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 1:50 PM

Definitely get them in to see a counselor. It will help them sort out their feelings and work them out. In these situations, kids tend to feel guilty and take that burden on themselves.

pepper504
by Gold Member on Apr. 25, 2013 at 2:12 PM

If they already see one, then maybe its time to find one that works, ya know?  I am sure that it must be hard on them visiting their mother (or any parent) in jail. 

CD_Eaton
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 3:53 PM

they do see one but grandma ho has cosduity of the kids atm says that seeing their mother doesnt effect them in anyway i think she is afraid that they wont be aloud to see her. which isnt what i am trying to do that is their mom and ive been thro kinda the same thing. i just worry about the boys and how it effect them. i want a good relationship with them and with their mother if i can.

I did speak with their counselor today i guess grandma had stoped taking them because there werent anymore problems. she is going to start seeing them after visits with their mother and would like it if we were there too. so that way the boys know its ok to talk to us about mom and how they feel about it and so we can explain to them that im not trying to take moms place. mom is still mom. we will see how things go.

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