DH and I have been together for 4 years, married for 2.5. My son is almost 15. DH doesn't like DS, he's not mean to him, but he doesn't try to bond with him like he used to when we first got together. He criticizes him a lot, for example, DS has horrible allergies, nose bleeds, sinus infections, but no fever. This week he's missed 3 days of school. DH said (to me), "he needs to man up and go to school, he doesn't have a fever". He says he's playing me. He's not, he's got a sore throat (a red throat), and a red ear. He says I baby him.
I don't think I do. I treat my DD, my DS, and his SD the same way. I do for one like I do for the other two. I don't discipline SD (he has custody, she doesn't visit her mom). (All 3 are teenagers) He disciplines and praises my SD, and criticizes my two kids. He doesn't see it this way.
Another example, I asked DS to come lay on the couch with me and watch a movie. He did, and DH came in and said, "You're too old to be snuggling with your mom". Just the week before SD was laying on the couch watching tv with DH (she's older than DS).
This Monday I went to SD's cheer parent meeting by myself because he was on 2nd shift. He would never do this for one of my kids, if I couldn't go to a game or a meeting, he just wouldn't go either.
I've tried to talk to him about it, he just gets defensive and shuts down. He won't go to therapy. I want to shelter my kids from this, DD can't wait to get out of the house, and I know DS will be the same when he gets older.