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She is not BM nor a SM she is just the aunt, I wish she would just stop!

Posted by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 11:48 PM
  • 13 Replies

We took a trip to Michigan for my grandparents 70th Wedding Anniversary.  The Skids couldn't go since BM wouldn't let the SD miss school and my SS is 3 and she didn't want him to go.  Well DH's sister calls and asks why she wasn't informed that we were leaving,  I guess she has been getting the kids EOWE when DH doesn't have them so BM can sleep and go on dates (this info came from the Aunt).  The aunt doesn't like me and certainly is of no concern to my family since they don't know her.  She has seriously butt her way into an already frustrating situation.  I am repeating and expanding my motto "Not my kids, only my family by marriage not my problems"  I am so frustrated that DH has one more stressor in his life trying to tell him how to raise his kids, so glad that I let that responsibility roll of my back like water on a ducks back!

by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 11:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
FoodIsLife
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 12:10 AM

So auntie (DHs sister) is mad because y'all didn't tell her you were leaving for a trip? Is that right? 


krazykiddles
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 12:14 AM

Yes because DH didn't ask her for permission since she was going to have the kids, we were unaware that BM made this arrangement ahead of time.  The lack of communication is frustrating!

Quoting FoodIsLife:

So auntie (DHs sister) is mad because y'all didn't tell her you were leaving for a trip? Is that right? 



FoodIsLife
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 12:18 AM
1 mom liked this


Ah ok. So it was technically DHs weekend? 

Yeah...sista needs to butt out. Y'all leaving and BM saying no isn't really a Brother-Sister problem lol Whatever BM decided to do as far as arrangments is on her. If it was DHs weekend, how come BM gets to say no?

Quoting krazykiddles:

Yes because DH didn't ask her for permission since she was going to have the kids, we were unaware that BM made this arrangement ahead of time.  The lack of communication is frustrating!

Quoting FoodIsLife:

So auntie (DHs sister) is mad because y'all didn't tell her you were leaving for a trip? Is that right? 





krazykiddles
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 12:20 AM

No it was BM's weekend, the aunt wanted us to take the kids and didn't tell us til last minute since she  and BM arranged for her to have the kids and something came up last minute.

Quoting FoodIsLife:


Ah ok. So it was technically DHs weekend? 

Yeah...sista needs to butt out. Y'all leaving and BM saying no isn't really a Brother-Sister problem lol Whatever BM decided to do as far as arrangments is on her. If it was DHs weekend, how come BM gets to say no?

Quoting krazykiddles:

Yes because DH didn't ask her for permission since she was going to have the kids, we were unaware that BM made this arrangement ahead of time.  The lack of communication is frustrating!

Quoting FoodIsLife:

So auntie (DHs sister) is mad because y'all didn't tell her you were leaving for a trip? Is that right? 






FoodIsLife
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 12:22 AM

Ok, makes total sense now. 

She's just mad she got stuck lol


Quoting krazykiddles:

No it was BM's weekend, the aunt wanted us to take the kids and didn't tell us til last minute since she  and BM arranged for her to have the kids and something came up last minute.

Quoting FoodIsLife:


Ah ok. So it was technically DHs weekend? 

Yeah...sista needs to butt out. Y'all leaving and BM saying no isn't really a Brother-Sister problem lol Whatever BM decided to do as far as arrangments is on her. If it was DHs weekend, how come BM gets to say no?

Quoting krazykiddles:

Yes because DH didn't ask her for permission since she was going to have the kids, we were unaware that BM made this arrangement ahead of time.  The lack of communication is frustrating!

Quoting FoodIsLife:

So auntie (DHs sister) is mad because y'all didn't tell her you were leaving for a trip? Is that right? 








krazykiddles
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 12:57 AM

Yes exactly!!! Yet she sticks herself in the middle of this merri-go-round all the time!  DH and I should be able to visit my family without having to ask everyone for permission!  BM pawns the kids off on everyone around her even the next door neighbor we only saw once (that is another story).  Now when it is inconvient to her it is suddenly our fault for being out of state for just 5 days! 

Quoting FoodIsLife:

Ok, makes total sense now. 

She's just mad she got stuck lol


Quoting krazykiddles:

No it was BM's weekend, the aunt wanted us to take the kids and didn't tell us til last minute since she  and BM arranged for her to have the kids and something came up last minute.

Quoting FoodIsLife:


Ah ok. So it was technically DHs weekend? 

Yeah...sista needs to butt out. Y'all leaving and BM saying no isn't really a Brother-Sister problem lol Whatever BM decided to do as far as arrangments is on her. If it was DHs weekend, how come BM gets to say no?

Quoting krazykiddles:

Yes because DH didn't ask her for permission since she was going to have the kids, we were unaware that BM made this arrangement ahead of time.  The lack of communication is frustrating!

Quoting FoodIsLife:

So auntie (DHs sister) is mad because y'all didn't tell her you were leaving for a trip? Is that right? 









FoodIsLife
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:07 AM

At one point...you become numb. As she's bitching just keeping going "uh huh, okay, yup, alright" then hang up and get on with your bad self ;-) No stress is ever worth someone else's bitching.


Quoting krazykiddles:

Yes exactly!!! Yet she sticks herself in the middle of this merri-go-round all the time!  DH and I should be able to visit my family without having to ask everyone for permission!  BM pawns the kids off on everyone around her even the next door neighbor we only saw once (that is another story).  Now when it is inconvient to her it is suddenly our fault for being out of state for just 5 days! 

Quoting FoodIsLife:

Ok, makes total sense now. 

She's just mad she got stuck lol


Quoting krazykiddles:

No it was BM's weekend, the aunt wanted us to take the kids and didn't tell us til last minute since she  and BM arranged for her to have the kids and something came up last minute.

Quoting FoodIsLife:


Ah ok. So it was technically DHs weekend? 

Yeah...sista needs to butt out. Y'all leaving and BM saying no isn't really a Brother-Sister problem lol Whatever BM decided to do as far as arrangments is on her. If it was DHs weekend, how come BM gets to say no?

Quoting krazykiddles:

Yes because DH didn't ask her for permission since she was going to have the kids, we were unaware that BM made this arrangement ahead of time.  The lack of communication is frustrating!

Quoting FoodIsLife:

So auntie (DHs sister) is mad because y'all didn't tell her you were leaving for a trip? Is that right? 











krazykiddles
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:12 AM
1 mom liked this

Exactly it seems as if more people are being added to the not my family not my problem list. 

Quoting FoodIsLife:

At one point...you become numb. As she's bitching just keeping going "uh huh, okay, yup, alright" then hang up and get on with your bad self ;-) No stress is ever worth someone else's bitching.


Quoting krazykiddles:

Yes exactly!!! Yet she sticks herself in the middle of this merri-go-round all the time!  DH and I should be able to visit my family without having to ask everyone for permission!  BM pawns the kids off on everyone around her even the next door neighbor we only saw once (that is another story).  Now when it is inconvient to her it is suddenly our fault for being out of state for just 5 days! 

Quoting FoodIsLife:

Ok, makes total sense now. 

She's just mad she got stuck lol


Quoting krazykiddles:

No it was BM's weekend, the aunt wanted us to take the kids and didn't tell us til last minute since she  and BM arranged for her to have the kids and something came up last minute.

Quoting FoodIsLife:


Ah ok. So it was technically DHs weekend? 

Yeah...sista needs to butt out. Y'all leaving and BM saying no isn't really a Brother-Sister problem lol Whatever BM decided to do as far as arrangments is on her. If it was DHs weekend, how come BM gets to say no?

Quoting krazykiddles:

Yes because DH didn't ask her for permission since she was going to have the kids, we were unaware that BM made this arrangement ahead of time.  The lack of communication is frustrating!

Quoting FoodIsLife:

So auntie (DHs sister) is mad because y'all didn't tell her you were leaving for a trip? Is that right? 












Anonymous
by Anonymous on Apr. 26, 2013 at 4:52 AM

If you are going to let the BM use you, as the aunt seems to be allowing, as a doormat and babysitting service, eventually you are going to be stepped on.  Too bad for aunt.  She needs to work this out with BM, since this is between the two of them.

chanizen
by Platinum Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 6:45 AM
Well, we see this on here all the time. Usually, it is an sm upset that bm changed a schedule on dh and wrecked the sms plans.

So, similarly the aunt is incorrect.

A family member who is designated by a parent, whether aunt or sm, can be trumped by the bioparent in the other home. Caregiver should take it up with bioparent for whom they provide care. It's wrong to be bitchy with the bio parent from the other home, when the bioparent you are associated with agreed to it.

Btw, a bio parent has a right to have family help them unless there is rofr or a similar co in place. So, just like a husband who goes out for a few beers or takes a business trip and asks sm to watch the kids, bm has an absolute right to have the kids spend time with their aunt.
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