Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Stepmom Central Stepmom Central

BM Mothers Day card?

Posted by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 9:48 PM
  • 15 Replies

I'm reading the book "No Ones the Bitch" and it says that if I want to take the leap to a smoother road between Bm and me, I should make a very kind, compassionate, genuine gesture. Example from the book is sending a card.

BM is preggers and due in June. DH and I haven't really congratulated her and while we are all civil towards each other, there is still A LOT of tension. So much that my skids don't want to talk to DH over the phone. Ever. She puts it on speaker and sits by them and listens...not sure if that is common? And we live on opposite sides of the country due to him being in the military. We are only able to see them during the summers and the odd years for Christmas. SO I want to send her a Mothers Day card wishing her a Happy Mothers Day and also congratulating her on her new little one.

I know there are BMs in this group soooo my question is, would you appreciate a Mothers Day card?? Or would you just think its creepy or piss you off? Would you even think any thing of it at all?

Again....I got the idea from the book..

Any input would be appreciated!

by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 9:48 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
packermomof2
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 9:54 PM
1 mom liked this

No, I wouldn't want a Mother's Day card from SM.  I"m not her mother.  I'm her husband's ex wife.  I'm the mother of her husband's children.  

FoodIsLife
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 9:54 PM

I'd probably roll my eyes at it.... but i'm kind of a bitch like that, so ya... :-)

Alisha1415
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 9:58 PM

Haha, no I get it. But at the same time, like....a genuine gesture? I'm having a hard time coming up with anything that wouldn't be over stepping any boundaries.

Alisha1415
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 10:03 PM

I could send her a card for when she has the baby? Buuuuuuuut wouldn't that piss her off?? It would piss me off...

I guess since we live so far away, maybe "our relationship" is the last thing I should be concerned about?

DDDaysh
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 4:00 PM

No...  I'd definitely think that was creepy.  

Mother's Day cards should come from a parent's kids...  maybe from the spouse, but not from an ex-spouse's new woman.  

DDDaysh
by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 4:01 PM
2 moms liked this

If you really want to make in-roads, I think a letter would be more appropriate.  

Maybe just explain that you're interested in working together civilly and you're sorry things have been tense so far.  Congratulate her on the baby.  Leave it there.  

Leigh84
by Gold Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 4:22 PM
I asked a very similar question yesterday except BM in my sitch is not prego. I guess there's no right or wrong answer depend on the person and the sitch. I got mixed replies and I see both sides. On one hand sm may feel she's doing something nice and BM might appreciate it. I can also see that some BMs might not care for it. Do what feels right.
pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 4:37 PM

I like to think about what I would like as a BM.  And keep in mind, I now like SM.  but I a, completely uninterested in getting a Mother's Day card from her.  Birthday card?  Sure, why not.  Nice email?  Phone call?  Sounds good.

no way on Mother's Day.

pdxmum
by Ruby Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 4:38 PM
1 mom liked this

OP, think about a gift for the baby.  That would be a lovely gesture.

sorry about the underlining...

Leigh84
by Gold Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 4:40 PM
The more I thought about it the more I agree w/u


Quoting pdxmum:

I like to think about what I would like as a BM.  And keep in mind, I now like SM.  but I a, completely uninterested in getting a Mother's Day card from her.  Birthday card?  Sure, why not.  Nice email?  Phone call?  Sounds good.

no way on Mother's Day.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN