Hello! I am a CSP to my 13 year old SD. SD has lived with us for the last 4 years, before that DH and BM had SD 50/50. We don't have custody through the court, it is an agreement between BM and DH as long as BM doesn't have to pay child support. SD doesn't like her mother, actually she despises BM. For the last 4 years SD, DH, and I have been put through hell by this woman. She refuses to believe anything that comes out of SD's mouth are her own thoughts and feelings so she just dismisses them. BM tells anyone and everyone how horrible DH and I are (including her sons girlfriends). She says horrible things about us infront of and to SD. She has a Very warped view of reality. She is a victim and nothing is her fault. She stopped showing up to SD's school and extra curricular functions in 1st grade. And now only shows up when she has a new man to prove to him what a wonderful and attentive she is as a BM. She is on her 3rd fiancé since November. Each has moved into her place after a week and she leaves SD alone with them.
Every time she gets a new guy within a few weeks they start trying to tell SD how she should treat and love her mother - they defend her to the hilt and have no interest in listening to WHY SD feels the way she does or the just dismiss her feelings as us brainwashing her. She hates BM bringing these men into her life and DOES want a relationship with her WITHOUT these men and HATES that she makes comments about us because as she has told BM DH and I have been the only parents to go to any school thing in almost 7 years. She started calling me "mom" last year and she refers to BM by her first name in our home - we haven't asked her to do this, she has done it on her own. SD feels like BM doesn't deserve the title of mom because she doesn't act like one.
SD is very vocal with us about her feelings regarding BM lol, and we try to encourage her to talk to BM about her feelings (which are usually just disregarded). SD is pretty well adjusted given everything- she is in 7th grade, plays soccer, and is an honor roll student. Anyway, that is us. I can answer questions if you have any. :)
on May. 2, 2013 at 7:42 AM