Every time she gets a new guy within a few weeks they start trying to tell SD how she should treat and love her mother - they defend her to the hilt and have no interest in listening to WHY SD feels the way she does or the just dismiss her feelings as us brainwashing her. She hates BM bringing these men into her life and DOES want a relationship with her WITHOUT these men and HATES that she makes comments about us because as she has told BM DH and I have been the only parents to go to any school thing in almost 7 years. She started calling me "mom" last year and she refers to BM by her first name in our home - we haven't asked her to do this, she has done it on her own. SD feels like BM doesn't deserve the title of mom because she doesn't act like one.
SD is very vocal with us about her feelings regarding BM lol, and we try to encourage her to talk to BM about her feelings (which are usually just disregarded). SD is pretty well adjusted given everything- she is in 7th grade, plays soccer, and is an honor roll student. Anyway, that is us. I can answer questions if you have any. :)