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Vacation with or without Stepson

Posted by on May. 3, 2013 at 10:47 PM
  • 72 Replies
Hello, I am new to this site. My DH & I have been together for 7 years and married for 2 years. We have a 3 year old son. He has an almost 9 year old with an ex girlfriend. To say things are strained at the house is an understatement every other weekend. I want to take our son to Disney for a day or a weekend. We live in FL so it's not that big of a deal to go for a day. The problem is my DH tells me we cannot go without getting my stepson a ticket too. I don't get why we cannot go on a weekend we don't have my stepson. He is not big on riding rides and is very disrespectful to me all the time. My DH says he will ride the rides at Disney. I don't think so. We took him to Wet N Wild for his 8th birthday for a weekend. He refused to go on any of the other water slides and only played in the kiddie section. While our 2 year old wanted to go down all the water slides that he could. So my DH forced him to go down one regular slide that our 2 year old loved. Well stepson cried the entire time in line and then cried even harder as we approached the slide ride. It was a group raft ride. Am I wrong to just want to do a family vacation just the 3 of us? My DH said we have to take him on any and all trips to be fair. BM doesn't take him on vacation. She takes the vacations without him, but takes her latest loser stud. She also doesn't work and lives off the system and collects child support. Any and all help is greatly apprecatiated. This is causing problems with my husband and me. Thanks!
by on May. 3, 2013 at 10:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LittleMama2012
by Silver Member on May. 3, 2013 at 10:59 PM
3 moms liked this
We have done things without SD10. She is disrespectful, doesn't behave in public, and is usually a complete brat once we get back home. Usually while we are gone, she is loud and obnoxious to draw attention to herself. I don't see anything wrong with doing a day trip without your ss, especially if he doesn't like rides and such. Maybe if you take your 3 year old somewhere, you should then do a day trip with just the ss and get a sitter for the 3 year old. That would be fair and each kid would get a little one on one. Let the ss help decide what to do on his day and maybe he will be more inclined to enjoy it.
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2013 at 11:05 PM
1 mom liked this

Me personally? I wouldn't go on a vacation like that without SD.

But, us going to Disneyland or Disneyworld is a big deal, we live in WA state.

If we were just gonna go to a local theme park, I could see going without SD if she didn't like rides.

I don't see anything wrong with going for a day or a weekend without SS. 

whatIknownow
by Ruby Member on May. 3, 2013 at 11:06 PM
7 moms liked this

Take him with you and let him ride the little kid rides if he enjoys them. Your husband wants to enjoy these family times with his son. He loves his son the same way you love your son. Can't you understand that?

And BM living on welfare has nothing to do with this at all. 

MommySabs
by Gold Member on May. 3, 2013 at 11:11 PM
6 moms liked this
Honestly I will probably be skewered for my response but here it goes ( and I just kinda skimmed but I think this pertains). Dh and I plan on taking dd to Disney world for a weekend before she starts school in a couple years. It will either be a birthday or Christmas present depending on when we schedule it. We plan on taking only dd. we will do it on a weekend when dss and my 2 Ds are with their ops.
At first my mom was appalled we would take one kid and leave the others behind. This was our answer- sometimes due to the circumstance and family that she was born into dd gets the short end of the stick. Yes that is just life. However she is the only child that is ours. The other kids have 2 birthdays 2 Christmases 2 vacations, multitudes of extended family due to the presence of sp's and so's. We (dh and I). Don't feel that it is insulting to them that for a weekend she gets a little extra. The boys are all actually aware of this and are okay with it. We are going to jont down take her to the magic kingdom to do the princess makeover and enjoy the new princess part of the park and jont home.
Granted it is not the norm and I am (for us) against the idea of say us taking a family vacation and not taking one of the boys. However in this case ( which side note my autocorrect kept changing to ass lol). Dh and I want to give dd a special experiance that frankly the boys won't want to as Tweens and teens ( then) spending the day surrounded by princesses.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on May. 3, 2013 at 11:18 PM
2 moms liked this
I personally wouldn't take him because I know how you feel. My DH would understand and he would go to the next trip but not one I'm looking forward to and I know how he acts. Disney is NOT cheap so I refuse to waste my money. Just make it clear to your DH that he can attend another vacation but not that one.
Lorik1969
by on May. 3, 2013 at 11:20 PM
1 mom liked this
That's a bit different. You're leaving both sets of kids behind, yours and his. In the OP's case, dh wants to enjoy the trip with both of his kids. Really, if the bio mom is that much of a loser, the kid would be better off spending as much time as he can with them.


Quoting MommySabs:

Honestly I will probably be skewered for my response but here it goes ( and I just kinda skimmed but I think this pertains). Dh and I plan on taking dd to Disney world for a weekend before she starts school in a couple years. It will either be a birthday or Christmas present depending on when we schedule it. We plan on taking only dd. we will do it on a weekend when dss and my 2 Ds are with their ops.

At first my mom was appalled we would take one kid and leave the others behind. This was our answer- sometimes due to the circumstance and family that she was born into dd gets the short end of the stick. Yes that is just life. However she is the only child that is ours. The other kids have 2 birthdays 2 Christmases 2 vacations, multitudes of extended family due to the presence of sp's and so's. We (dh and I). Don't feel that it is insulting to them that for a weekend she gets a little extra. The boys are all actually aware of this and are okay with it. We are going to jont down take her to the magic kingdom to do the princess makeover and enjoy the new princess part of the park and jont home.

Granted it is not the norm and I am (for us) against the idea of say us taking a family vacation and not taking one of the boys. However in this case ( which side note my autocorrect kept changing to ass lol). Dh and I want to give dd a special experiance that frankly the boys won't want to as Tweens and teens ( then) spending the day surrounded by princesses.

MommySabs
by Gold Member on May. 3, 2013 at 11:28 PM
True! We did take everyone to Disney about a year and a half ago but dd was too young to do the makeover and the princess stuff was still under construction. Best time ever!!!!


Quoting Lorik1969:

That's a bit different. You're leaving both sets of kids behind, yours and his. In the OP's case, dh wants to enjoy the trip with both of his kids. Really, if the bio mom is that much of a loser, the kid would be better off spending as much time as he can with them.




Quoting MommySabs:

Honestly I will probably be skewered for my response but here it goes ( and I just kinda skimmed but I think this pertains). Dh and I plan on taking dd to Disney world for a weekend before she starts school in a couple years. It will either be a birthday or Christmas present depending on when we schedule it. We plan on taking only dd. we will do it on a weekend when dss and my 2 Ds are with their ops.


At first my mom was appalled we would take one kid and leave the others behind. This was our answer- sometimes due to the circumstance and family that she was born into dd gets the short end of the stick. Yes that is just life. However she is the only child that is ours. The other kids have 2 birthdays 2 Christmases 2 vacations, multitudes of extended family due to the presence of sp's and so's. We (dh and I). Don't feel that it is insulting to them that for a weekend she gets a little extra. The boys are all actually aware of this and are okay with it. We are going to jont down take her to the magic kingdom to do the princess makeover and enjoy the new princess part of the park and jont home.


Granted it is not the norm and I am (for us) against the idea of say us taking a family vacation and not taking one of the boys. However in this case ( which side note my autocorrect kept changing to ass lol). Dh and I want to give dd a special experiance that frankly the boys won't want to as Tweens and teens ( then) spending the day surrounded by princesses.


Lorik1969
by on May. 3, 2013 at 11:30 PM
1 mom liked this
When you married your dh he came as a package deal. Your animosity towards this boy is sad. If your son is only 3, he will go on the kiddie rides. Maybe your ss doesn't care for rides and will be happy to go on the kiddie ones. The only way I see you coming through this without your dh resenting you is to take your ss for a special day without your son. Get a sitter and let your ss know it's his day and ask him what he wants to do.
Tinkerbellmama
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2013 at 11:48 PM
2 moms liked this

Personally, I'd feel worthless if I went on vacation without SD. I really couldn't imagine it. We've never done anything big without her, even before DH had custody. We'd wait to plan the big stuff for when she was home. She's a member of this family as much as the other children.

ramita
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2013 at 12:05 AM
1 mom liked this
Has anyone even asked what the SS wants? He may not even want to go, and if he does then y'all an do one of two things. Either you and DH take a child and go separate ways for a large portion of the day, or get a game plan going with SS about what all he'd want to do and revolve around that.

Goodluck!!
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