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Hope I did the right thing

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post


I have recently found out that my 16 year old stepson and his 15 year old girlfriend have been sending each other naked pictures of each other. We talked to my stepson and told him how it is inappropriate and all that stuff but he did not tell his girlfriend that we seen the pictures so she continued to send inappropriate messages to him. he took another pic of himself naked a few days ago that I happened to see on his computer so he now has no access to any electronic devices. He went to school today and still did not mention to his girlfriend that he got in trouble and what for. so later this evening she wrote to him on facebook asking where he was, and I got the message.

This was my reply to her.


This is Jordan's step mom, Jordan has lost all privileges to Internet due to inappropriate messages that were sent back and forth between the two of you. Not sure if you were made aware but all of his messages are monitored. So until further notice he will not be available to chat. And FYI you may want to be careful with the type of pictures you send over the Internet.


this is her reply

Hi Mrs. G******. I understand that you may care less to speak or listen to what I have to say but I just wanted to say I'm sorry. And I am completely Ashamed and Embrassed on what happened. I've never been in a situation like this nor have I ever had inappropriate messages with anyone else and knowing that you were aware of these messages puts me to shame. I assume you may look low of me and I probably deserve it for making a horrible decision of going along with this but I truly am not that type of person. I hope you will not judge me over this. I'm sorry.

me:

I am not judging you at all. I do not think any less of you, I know how teenage hormones are. I just wanted to make you aware. I wish Jordan had made you aware when we first noticed the pictures, but it looks like he didnt. we let it slide the first time and let him know that unfortunately once you put something on the internet it is there and no getting it back. I am in no way upset with you, from what I have heard you are a good girl. I just dont want you or Jordan to get into anything over your head. I had my daughter at 17, so again I understand what it is like to be a teenager. Again, there are no hard feelings. and I dont think any less of you.

Her:

Thank you so much for not judging or thinking less of me because I am not that type of person. I honestly appreciate you for doing this and knocking some sense into us. Jordan never told me that you were aware I also wish had. Dont want to sound stuck up but yes I am a good girl but I made a very big mistake. And no ma'am I dont plan on doing anything I am still clean and plan to stay that way

me:

I hope so, and I know you are a good girl. That is the reason I wanted to tell you rather than involving your parents

her

Yes Ma'am and Thank you for talking to me about this instead of my parents.

If Mr. ***** also knew about this would you mind telling him I'm truly sorry or have him read these messages. And ohhhhhh yes ma'am it will stop! Oh trust me. I dont need to be reminded twice.


What do you all think about this. would you have handled it differently? would you have went to the parents?  What you do if you found naked pictures of your child on the computer?

Posted by Anonymous on May. 4, 2013 at 10:37 AM
Replies (11-20):
BioNerd
by on May. 4, 2013 at 2:39 PM

 I agree.

Quoting packermomof2:

I'd hav e gone to the parents. 

 

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on May. 4, 2013 at 3:50 PM

I think that the parents should've been notified.  

It sounds like this kiddo gets it and that's great.  But if we were in that girls' parents' shoes, we'd want to know so we had an opportunity to have a conversation and set up monitoring as well.

The general interaction you had was great--don't get me wrong.  But I likely would've told the kiddo that she needed to talk to her folks about it and had X days else DH would be giving her folks a call.

elkmomma
by on May. 4, 2013 at 3:55 PM

You did just fine.

packermomof2
by on May. 4, 2013 at 6:54 PM

Quoting Birdseed:

I think that the parents should've been notified.  

It sounds like this kiddo gets it and that's great.  But if we were in that girls' parents' shoes, we'd want to know so we had an opportunity to have a conversation and set up monitoring as well.

The general interaction you had was great--don't get me wrong.  But I likely would've told the kiddo that she needed to talk to her folks about it and had X days else DH would be giving her folks a call.


All of this. Maybe the kid deletes them so her parents can't find them (pretend they check her phone every now and again). She and the boy break up and she gets another boyfriend and does this same thing? Letting the mom and dad know means they will be able to check more often/better/take away her texting to prevent her from doing this with someone who may not be as willing to not share these with others. Let's also say that the parents do, somehow, find out about this. And she says "mom, dad, it's okay. I understand why this isn't a good idea. Boyfriend's SM talked to me about it"... Suddenly it could be you in the crosshairs.
"What country can preserve its liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance. Let them take arms."
Thomas Jefferson
to James Madison

"They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
Ben Franklin
American Statesman
Jessie3398
by New Member on May. 4, 2013 at 6:58 PM
This is what I was thinking to.

Quoting Anonymous:

Also inform them they can get into serious trouble for what they did. Technically they were sharing child pornography because of their ages.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on May. 4, 2013 at 7:51 PM

 Teenagers are at a difficult age, I think you handled it well. I would however also mention to them that they can be prosecuted for sending, receiving and possession of child pornography and would need to register as a sex offender.

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2013 at 9:16 PM
Weiner Weiner! Lol that made me laugh! Haha


Quoting leegirl_jm:

Anthony Weiner, a former US Representative.

Quoting Anonymous:

I did make sure he was aware of once it is out there it is there for good. I also let him no that there are laws about sending naked pictures and he could find himself in alot of trouble with the law.

Who is the weiner guy?

Quoting leegirl_jm:

I think you did and remind your stepson that nothing is private on the internet and a number of persons have gotten into trouble over pictures like these. Remember that Weiner guy?




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2013 at 9:18 PM
Her parents should have been notified. Other than that, I think it went well.
If someone talked with my daughter without first coming to me, I would explode. Especially if she were doing something like this. I would want to know. Gah! This makes me want to freeze dry dd and keep her young forever.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2013 at 9:21 PM
I was thinking this too. She punished her stepson and he likely will learn from his punishment. She isn't getting any punishment because her parents didn't find out (he forgot to delete them and she deleted before they caught her)
I would be upset if I was cheated the right to correct this behavior because someone else talked with her and let it go and didn't think once to contact me.


Quoting packermomof2:



Quoting Birdseed:

I think that the parents should've been notified.  

It sounds like this kiddo gets it and that's great.  But if we were in that girls' parents' shoes, we'd want to know so we had an opportunity to have a conversation and set up monitoring as well.

The general interaction you had was great--don't get me wrong.  But I likely would've told the kiddo that she needed to talk to her folks about it and had X days else DH would be giving her folks a call.





All of this.

Maybe the kid deletes them so her parents can't find them (pretend they check her phone every now and again). She and the boy break up and she gets another boyfriend and does this same thing? Letting the mom and dad know means they will be able to check more often/better/take away her texting to prevent her from doing this with someone who may not be as willing to not share these with others.

Let's also say that the parents do, somehow, find out about this. And she says "mom, dad, it's okay. I understand why this isn't a good idea. Boyfriend's SM talked to me about it"...

Suddenly it could be you in the crosshairs.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
leegirl_jm
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2013 at 10:08 PM
1 mom liked this

It would be nice if the parents were notified but she really doesn't have an obligation to inform the girl's parents, they should have been more attentive to their kid so they would have found out just like the boy's SM found out. 

Wife, Mother and Career Woman living in Jamaica

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