Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

My name is April and I've been with my husbands for 8 years. His son was about 9 months old at the time. My husband I and have since then built a family together for my step son and our two daughters together. Unfortunately, I'm still having problems dealing with our sons mom. Even though I've taken on having him 3 to 4 days a week, picking him up from school, doing home work, taking him to baseball practices and games and everything else a mother does when he's with us, she still sees my role as her ex's girlfriend. Like I'm not our boys family. She also has complete boundary issues. Like when we go on trips, she'll reminds me how I'm going to have to pack for my husband, because he won't be able to do it on his own. Someone help me deal with her for my step sons sake.
by on May. 4, 2013 at 6:38 PM
Replies (11-20):
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2013 at 8:30 PM
OP says she is married to her husband ... I got the impression that mom isn't accepting that she is married and still sees her as his girlfriend.


Quoting KnowItAll:

You need to accept that you are not the child's mother and will never be recognized as such. You aren't even officially the stepmother. There is nothing wrong with being dad's gf. It's what you are so embrace it.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
KnowItAll
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2013 at 8:55 PM

Ah.  I reread it.  Wellll.....I guess I'll have to reword and say it's ok to be SM (instead of gf) and to embrace that.  :P

Quoting momof2ex1:

OP says she is married to her husband ... I got the impression that mom isn't accepting that she is married and still sees her as his girlfriend.


Quoting KnowItAll:

You need to accept that you are not the child's mother and will never be recognized as such. You aren't even officially the stepmother. There is nothing wrong with being dad's gf. It's what you are so embrace it.


Happily Married | BM to DD13  DD13  DD12 | Mom to DS7 & DS4 | CP | Not a SM

momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2013 at 9:10 PM
Lol it's ok. Trying to prove here that we aren't cray cray!


Quoting KnowItAll:

Ah.  I reread it.  Wellll.....I guess I'll have to reword and say it's ok to be SM (instead of gf) and to embrace that.  :P

Quoting momof2ex1:

OP says she is married to her husband ... I got the impression that mom isn't accepting that she is married and still sees her as his girlfriend.





Quoting KnowItAll:

You need to accept that you are not the child's mother and will never be recognized as such. You aren't even officially the stepmother. There is nothing wrong with being dad's gf. It's what you are so embrace it.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Frustrated10
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2013 at 9:18 PM
3 moms liked this

I'm not sure how this post appears at your house but at my house the OP states that "My name is April and I've been with my husbands for 8 years". SO stop being rude to her and telling her she's just the g/f. If you can't read, take a class. If you have nothing helpful or constructive to add, why bother replying just to be rude. It's disgusting on this site sometimes how some of you women here treat each other. Act like a lady.

Wallacekidsmom
by on May. 4, 2013 at 9:54 PM
I do what I do out of my own heart. We get him 3 to 4 days out of the week and most of the time we have him on her days too. I know I well never be his mom. I always want him to know he's a main character in our lives, not an extra. BTW, he is my husband. My stepsons mom just has a problem thinking of me that way. I would love for us to one day have a positive relationship. Right now we just get on each others nerves. Either way my husband and I have a family and that includes our boy.
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2013 at 9:56 PM
1 mom liked this
She already apologized for reading it wrong.


Quoting Frustrated10:

I'm not sure how this post appears at your house but at my house the OP states that "My name is April and I've been with my husbands for 8 years". SO stop being rude to her and telling her she's just the g/f. If you can't read, take a class. If you have nothing helpful or constructive to add, why bother replying just to be rude. It's disgusting on this site sometimes how some of you women here treat each other. Act like a lady.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
chanizen
by Platinum Member on May. 4, 2013 at 9:57 PM
3 moms liked this

Daddy's wife = stepmom. Mom=mom.

To bm, I am the woman who married her ex. Which is fine. I wouldn't listen to her talk about my husband. But I really don't expect her to "see me" as anything other than my husband's family. His wife. An adult to be respected. And present in the lives of her kids.

I expect my husband to love me and appreciate me and treat me well.

I don't expect that of bm..... She isn't my spouse (thank goodness, that would be really strange).

Would suggest lowering expectations of how bm will see you. And don't listen to packing advice....

Wallacekidsmom
by on May. 4, 2013 at 9:57 PM
I do what I do out of my own heart. We get him 3 to 4 days out of the week and most of the time we have him on her days too. I know I well never be his mom. I always want him to know he's a main character in our lives, not an extra. BTW, he is my husband. My stepsons mom just has a problem thinking of me that way. I would love for us to one day have a positive relationship. Right now we just get on each others nerves. Either way my husband and I have a family and that includes our boy.
momof2ex1
by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2013 at 9:58 PM
1 mom liked this
That is exactly the point! You do these things out of the kindness of your heart. Not for her or to get her to acknowledge you. But because you care about your husband and his son and you want to do these things. I am going to be blunt. Stop thinking about a positive relationship. It likely isn't going to happen. It's been 8 years. Just focus on your home and your family and ignore the stuff she says. Let your husband deal with her.


Quoting Wallacekidsmom:

I do what I do out of my own heart. We get him 3 to 4 days out of the week and most of the time we have him on her days too. I know I well never be his mom. I always want him to know he's a main character in our lives, not an extra. BTW, he is my husband. My stepsons mom just has a problem thinking of me that way. I would love for us to one day have a positive relationship. Right now we just get on each others nerves. Either way my husband and I have a family and that includes our boy.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Wallacekidsmom
by on May. 4, 2013 at 10:02 PM
1 mom liked this
Oh and by the way my husbands is a good dad and a very hard worker. Sometimes he works late and isn't able to do the homework thing or baseball thing because he's doing the daddy thing by working to support his family. While I do the wife thing and back him up at home.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)



Featured