So, for whatever reason, I feel like reaching out to BM and trying to get me and her on speaking terms. I have written her a letter, and want to know what you guys think. Should I give it to her? Should I not? Read it and let me know...
Background** Been with SO for almost 7 years. They share joint custody. BM is very "follow my rules". Any other questions, ask. When we were in court I cried and she took a picture of me and put it on instagram, hence the ending. I want to make it so she knows I want to be cordial, but I am not kissing her ass.
I am writing you this letter because we have never gotten a chance to speak to one another, and for whatever reason you have never liked me. I don’t expect you to ever like me, but maybe we can get on good enough terms to do what’s best for Jahmiyra. As you know, I have been around for almost 7 years, and I don’t plan on going anywhere soon. I do what I can to do what’s best for Jahmiyra, and make good decisions for her to teach her valuable life lessons. I don’t want to be her Mom, she has you for that. But I want to be a role model and I am a part of her life. The more people she has in her life that love her, the better off she’ll be. I understand that you get frustrated with me, and I don’t know what it’s like to be a Mom, but I do know what it’s like to be a StepMom, and it’s not all candy and flowers. It’s not up to me to make life decisions for her, that’s up to you and Martinez. But I do make daily decisions for her while she’s here. I am the woman in the household so naturally I do a lot for Jahmiyra like get her ready for school and keep track of her paperwork from school. Instead of all the “don’t do this” “don’t say that”, why don’t we all try to talk like adults and come to an agreement. I’m sure you have my cell phone number, you are more than welcome to use it anytime if you need something or want to talk to Jahmiyra while Martinez is at work. I understand the situation we are all in is not ideal, but there is nothing we can do but make the most of it and do what’s best for Jahmiyra. Imagine how much easier it would be on her if you and I were on speaking terms. I understand you don’t have to even acknowledge me. But when Jahmiyra is here I am a big part of her life, and if I was able to speak to you, I think the transition from house to house would go a lot smoother, being we are the women. You want us to follow your rules while Jahmiyra is at our house, and the realization, especially the way things are today, is that it’s not going to happen. However, maybe if we were more involved with each others households, maybe that would be more of a possibility. You have issues with the things that happen over here (hair, etc) and we have issues with things that go on over there. Martinez is a man, he isn’t going to talk to you about Jahmiyra’s hair or the boy she likes at school. But I would, you’ve just never given me the chance. We will most likely never be friends, and there’s absolutely no reason in the world we need to be. But I am more than capable of putting aside the things I dislike about you to do what’s best for Jahmiyra, no matter what’s going on outside of that. Would you rather have a woman that doesn’t say anything to you and does whatever with no disregard for you? Or would you rather know what’s going on and be constantly involved? The choice is yours. I am trying to be the bigger person here in the best interest of Jahmiyra. This is the situation we are all in. We can either continue to bitch about it, or we can make the most of it and all do what’s best for Jahmiyra. She’s only getting older and more things will be happening in her life. The more communication the better. Think about it. I have plenty of issues with you, but that will never stop me from doing what’s best for her. Do what you want with this letter...throw it in the trash and pretend you never saw it for all I care, or put it on instagram. I’m not going to kiss up to you, because I can continue on with my life the way it is. I just thought maybe Jahmiyra would like it if she wasn’t always being pulled in 2 different directions. Let me know what you think.