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SD getting married

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 6 Replies

I have raised my step daughter since she was 3 her mother was never really in the picture she would see her randomely. My SD has decided to have me do the mother of the bride things since I have raised her and am pretty much her mother. My sd has invited her mom to the wedding but she isn't sitting in the family section or being the mother of the bride I see my sd's point what you think about this? 

Posted by Anonymous on May. 5, 2013 at 5:00 PM
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Replies (1-6):
Birdseed
by Platinum Member on May. 5, 2013 at 5:07 PM

I stopped seeing my Dad when I was about 14.  I invited him to my wedding but he was not a part of anything other than pictures.  He said he was surprised and happy just to even be invited.  (we are now speaking after 20 years!)

If your situation is such that you've been the primary mother figure for years and years, I doubt this will be a problem and even if it is, I'd hope that adults will behave like adults for her day.


Congratulations and best wishes.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on May. 5, 2013 at 5:10 PM

Bmom is the one causing the issues she is upset that she isn't included in on the wedding dress shopping and the wedding planning. She is jealous that I am the one doing all of that. But I have been SD's mom since she was 3. Bm was on drugs so she wasn't involved. 


Quoting Birdseed:

I stopped seeing my Dad when I was about 14.  I invited him to my wedding but he was not a part of anything other than pictures.  He said he was surprised and happy just to even be invited.  (we are now speaking after 20 years!)

If your situation is such that you've been the primary mother figure for years and years, I doubt this will be a problem and even if it is, I'd hope that adults will behave like adults for her day.


Congratulations and best wishes.



newstepmom61811
by on May. 5, 2013 at 5:17 PM

SD made these decisions and is obviously willing to take her mom on about it, she also is an adult. There is nothing for you to do but participate as SD asks, it is her day.

Birdseed
by Platinum Member on May. 5, 2013 at 5:19 PM

It's your SD's day. She gets to have the people involved that she wants. 

Were I her (and I was) I'd just say to all of the people involved "act like a grown up.  I'm not going to be responsible for poor behavior".  That's it.  I was 33 when I first got married though.  I had a lot of family who didn't get along. I invited all of them and gave them all the same warning/expectation.

If BM is flipping out, she needs to be put in her place.  This is the bride's special day and if BM CARES about her, LOVES her then she will support her in making it a nice day.


amonkeymom
by Amy on May. 6, 2013 at 12:23 PM

When I married my ex, I asked my stepdad to give me away.  He's always been more of a dad to me than my dad and I told him so.  

I do think my dad was really hurt, but because of it we've been able to repair our relationship somewhat.  

My opinion, you are more of a mom than her bio mom, therefore she wants to honor you as such.  I think it's pretty wonderful!

DDDaysh
by on May. 6, 2013 at 12:26 PM
I think SD is an adult and can do what she wants. Why do you give two farts what BM says? Why are you even wasting time thinking about it?
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