Hi everyone. I'm knew to this whole stepmom thing and could really use some help.
I've been dating my boyfriend for about two months now. He has a ten year old son who I just cant connect with. The reason is because he's hanged up on my boyfriend's ex and when I say ex I don't mean the son's mom. My boyfriend's son is still pining after my boyfriend's ex girlfriend and won't have anything to do with me.
Anytime I try to snuggle or kiss my boyfriend he son throws a tantrum. He's always asking his dad when the ex will be back even tho Im standing right there. If I try to do anything with his son, he tells me about how cool the ex was and how much he misses her. I kind of want to tell him that she's not coming back and I'm here to stay, but how do I do that without sounding super rude.
It really difficult, because the ex is still kind of around. She got along well with the son's mom and they volunteered at the school together. The ex is still on the PTO and is the voluntear room mom for the son's class, even tho she's no longer connected to the son. My boyfriend said she was really involved and everyone thought it would be best if she would just finish out the school year. She also still visits with the son. Yesterday my boyfriend dropped his son off with her so she could take him to lunch and the movies. I'm a little mad ‘cause he knows that I'm having a difficult time connecting with his son and I feel like the ex is the cause. I don't know why hed continue letting them have a relationship when I'm trying to have a relationship and she's the reason its not working.
I tried to be friendly with the mom, but even she's stuck on the ex. At pickup she never says hi to me or anything. She asked my boyfriend if he'd talked to the ex. A couple of weeks ago the mom sent my boyfriend a text telling him that it wasn't too late and he could fix everything with his ex. She told him that she liked the ex, there son liked the ex, and they didn't want her to go.
I'm just so frusterated. When the mom picked up their son she metioned his upcoming 4th grade graduation. She said that the ex was going. I asked my boyfriend about it and he said that since his ex was so involved he thought she should come to the graudation. I asked if I could go and he said that he'd it would be awkward if I went. I'm not invivted but the ex is!!!!!