Teen hygiene/personal care/appearance...kind of surprised coming from DH.
My DH just got back from visiting the kids and while driving home from the airport last night, expressed his concern about SD13's appearance and hygiene and eluded to the fact that he would like me to try to address some of these issues with her when she visits in 2 weeks--not formally but by having some sort of girls' day thing.
We've been through the usual tween/young teen skipping showers, not brushing teeth, heading out to school in wrinkled clothes thing with SD now 15, and that all resolved on its own over the last 2 years with some peer pressure for the most part. She's a freshman now and has really gotten on top of her personal hygiene and appearance stuff as of late. This is the same kid that we had the pads on the wall, not wearing a pad or tampon at night and bleeding onto PJs then rewearing them and smelling bad issues with. My point being that DH has had a pretty high tolerance for even outter limits type issues yet all of a sudden wants to intervene with SD13.
For some reason that I cannot quite put my finger on, he is pretty adamant after this visit that SD13 needs to be advised/encouraged to do something with her hair, scrub her arms (she gets those red bumps from ingrown hairs on her arms), wear clothing that fits and is clean and fresh, not dirty or wrinkled etc.
He thinks she should get a new hair cut, learn how to use some product and actually "do it" and take a little more pride in her appearance. (I took both kids to a nice salon with BM's permission and got them cuts and teaching and product last summer before school started...guess it didn't stick with SD13) He has the same arm bump issue and can't believe she's not doing something about it. (just takes a loofah and some moisturizer to resolve, not medical in nature). He feels like she's just kind of falling off the planet in her Mom and sister's eyes and that they're not giving her much "woman" advice. She's still not menstruating so that's not an issue with the hygiene thing but he feels like she's just not getting chick advice.
I have to tell you that aside from biological or basic hygiene topics, I am the LAST person on the planet to give input. I get along very well with SD13--we're way more in sync personality wise than I am with SD15. But still, her mom is way more trendy, girly, etc. I don't wear makeup if I don't have to. My favorite hair style is a ponytail unless it's a special occasion. I abhor the blow dryer or spending a minute more than I have to getting ready.
I really think that she'll figure this stuff out on her own when it becomes important to her and that in all honesty, it might make her feel even more insecure if anything is pointed out. She's in 7th grade. It's a tough age of course and many kids don't really get into the whole appearance thing til later which I'm not sure is a bad thing.